ioculus | //TESTDRIVE3.0.EXE

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!test drive

//TESTDRIVE3.0.EXE

It Came from Beneath the Sink

It's a normal day in Cerealia. Everyone is going about their business, settling into their new jobs, waving to the mail droid, enjoying themselves a sensual massage in the spa, racking up experience points in ViViD, etc. You decide it'd be a good time to check your inbox and see if there are any incoming messages. That's when you spot an e-mail simply titled 'fwd: gorg0n.'

Out of curiosity, you decide to click on it and open it. What comes is a single image of a robot flashed briefly followed by scrambled words displayed on your screen:

w̧̧̛͈̝̝̝͖͎͗̔͐̋̈́̈͋̀ͅͅè̻͈̙͎̖̙͖̦̫̖̇̓̐̃̍̿̔̾̕ ̨̢͇̮͖̲̘̣̬̞͗̂́̄̓̌̎̎̃͆a̢̪̥̪͔͙̝͖̱̞̍̿̽͐̀̿̚̕͠͝p͍̖̭̰̮̻͇͖̬̒̆̓̅͆̔̏͌̋̕ͅó̫̙̯̻̹͕͇̞̱͔̿͌̽̃̇̎̀̀͘ļ̡͍͙̠̻͇̠̱͉̒̏̌́̋͐̐͘͝͠ơ̢̹̟̗͇̝̣͈͖̲͆́̿̈́̋̒̅̀͘ģ̧͍͕̱̭̱̤̥͋́̄̄̀͗̽͜͝͝͝i̧̻̥̱̫̟̻̠̼̞̋̈̈͌͊͑̎̈́̂̎z̛̛̤̝̫̩͔̙͓͓͚͍͗̓̈́̇͑̀̽́e̛̲̬͓̙̹̲̠̤͔̊͛́̒͆͑̀́͋ͅ ̤̜̟̳̮̟̺̲̭̓̋̎̑͌̋́͌͘͝ͅf̗̥̠̙͓̞͖̞̋̒̓̃͂̈̊̍̌͗ͅͅỏ̢͔̥͔̱͔̬͔͚̒́̐̎͆̂̋̀̕ͅr̛͍̲̲͖̮͓̼̙̙͛̌̽̈́̈́͋̄̌̆͜ ̢̳̱̱͎̫͔̥̹̻̎̾̑̇͊̌͆͑̇͂t̢̛̝͍̤̳̲̗̦͈͇̐̓͛̑͆̎̃̑͝h̼̭̦͕̗̲͙̯̻̭͌͗͑̑̍̎͂͘̕͝i̡̳̗̩̲̼̞̜̗̎̈́͂̿͑̈́̐̈́͘͝ͅs̛̹̜̙̪̘̝͖̗͙̰̄͐͐̇̀̿̒̕͠ ̢̡͚̤̜̱̮̺͍͚͛̔̃̃͛̏̆̀̄͝į̡͙̮̣͕̲̟̠̯͆̾̋̈́̈́̔̔̽̓͌ṋ̨̧̢̛̛͔͉͉̖̯͎̃́̊̆͌͑̋̕t̢͈̳̬̝̻̫̪̘̪͑̃̃̐̂̾̈́͘̚̚è̢̢͙̻̤̗̮͒̍̏͑͊̄̐̀̍͜͜ͅr̨̻̟͉̳͇̝̜͓̮̅̎́͊̈́̔̎͆͠͠ȓ̯̹͉̻̻̼̝̤̟̓̓̇͂͗͐̓́͐ͅù͙̪̤̘̭̙̬̜͕͓̓̐̐̑̌͑̽̃͝ṕ̧̦̭͙̱̲̹̳̥̳͑̆́̏͒͗̌̚͠t͍͍̟̩͕̩͔̟̺̠̃͊̒̑͌̓̽͆̊͝ī͓͕͙̮͕̜̞̤̰͋̀̀̓͂̌̈́͝͠ͅơ̦̬̤̠͔͕͙̯̼̙͐̀̒́̈́̿͆͆͝n͔̬̲͉̪͎̪͓̹͐̒͊̀͋̃͂͒̓́͜ ̢̛̩̝͓̦̻͍̹͉̦́͑̀͐͆̃͋̽̂ḯ̢͍̭͕̮̠͚̠̪̗́̑͛͌̄̿̚͠͠n̡̰̯͚̪̮͕͕̘̹̅͆̿̿̓̑̓̈͘͝ ̲̺̣͇̯̥͇͔͎̮̒́́̑̍̀̿͘͝͝ý̡̠̺̣̗͔̪̠̀̔̽̓̉̉̈̓͜͝ͅo̖͎̝̪̲͍̩̪̩̰͐̒̎̿̔̃͐͐̋̚u͍̺̥͚̗̫̝̗̯̎͑͋̑̅̀̓̊̚͜͝r̛̛̮̼̹̬͈͇͈̙͉͛̍͋̄̍̓̍͜͠ ̛̪̜͔̣̝̠̙̫̤̈̂͛̈́͂̍̈͆̇͜b̤̟̞͉̳̝̠̦̝̹͂̿͒̀́̓̌̀̉̎r̤̫͖͖̫̮̱̙͈̻͛̐̈́̒̈́̊̀̀͠͝ǫ̜̞͖̮̦͎̪̤̀̆͗́͌̎́̊͛͜͝a̰̪̙̹̰̗̯̩͈̞̓͋͋͌̅͊̓̑̚͝ḑ̘͇̺̬̘͔̝͎͕̊̇̃̌̄͛̀͑̈͐ç̢̛̱̭͓̣͎̭͔͕̈͌̈̔͛́̃̀̆ä̧̡̢̱̮̳̤͓͉́̉̋̎̈́̀̒͜͝͠͝ş̹͓̟̙̱̼͍͚͛̀̾́̀̊͋̈́͛̚ͅt͈͉̹͈̼̝̳̘̗͚͂͋̎̉̈̍̂̽̚͝ ͙̗̘̲̩̯͓̙̟̞̅̇̆͛́͐̉̊̈́͠h̢̧̪̦̣̣̜̘̞̩̊̈́̎̌̾̋̿̑̚̕ë͇̩̱̪̤̝͔̮̮̟́̈́͊́̀͑͐͐̀͘l̢̛̞̝̲̖̪͙͙̙͍̎̔͌̃̓̎͌̿͘p̡̨̡̛̺͕̱̯̻̰̱̈́͛́̆͗̀̀̉̉p̤̖̦̱̻̮̰̖͇̥͋̓́͆̏͛́̚͝͝p̨̧̞̟̙͔̭̹͇͇̒́̇̓͛̍̔͑̚̕p̨̳͎̙͍̼̗̭͕̖̀͂̏̏͐̋́̾̓̆ ̢̨̠̹̼̺͔͖̣͙̅̋̎̐̂̂͛͘͝͝s̢̟̫̱̼͚̪͍̿͌͂͊̊̋̾̿̊͜͜͝s̢̧͎͚̣͓̘̝̥̤̈́̓͆̏̇͌̎͑̋͘û̝̱̙͇͎̫̭̞̳̖̂͗̾̆́̽́͑͘ ̧̧͕͉͖̳͙͕̰̜̇̐͌͑̓͆́͊͘͘ḩ̧̧̤̗̫͙͉̣̜͗̾̈́̌̈́̆͌͒̾͠ȩ̘͈̯̲̗͈̺͔̤̑͛̅̉̿͂́̐̿͘l̝̻̣̱̜̼͎̰͎̯̒̐͗͗̐̏̀̚͘͠p͇̟͕̹̤̭͎̥̪͋̐͐̎̈́́̃̆͑͝ͅ ̛͖͚̪̝͓͔̲̯̩̉̅͆͆͊̈̏͜͝͝w̘̟̜͍̮̟̺̤̼͖̍̌̂̎̆͛̀̊̕͝ę̼̩̤͓̣͉̼̎̈́̊̆̄͛̍̍͝͝ͅͅ ̢̹̖̪̺͇͙̥͈͕͊̆͐̍́̿͘͘͠͠ą̩̟͚͓̱̺͓̗̤̽̐̀́̓̃̊̓̚͠p̧̪̼͇̺̣̹̗͐̽́̈͆̄̈́͗̿͜͜͝o̧̡͈͈̞̠͉̯͍͉̓͆̋̈́̾̓̊͘͘͝ģ͙͚̱̺̘̦͖̖̗̔̃̏̋͗̏̇̌̔͠

//SCENARIOS.EXE

PHASE I

[ xxxx ] Nobody likes spam, yet everyone's inboxes are being filled with all kinds of strange e-mails, all with the same title. No matter how many times you try to delete them, they continue to appear in your inbox. They're frustrating, but not all of them lead to the same message. Some have other regular CERES spam attached -25% off Cosmos Cosmetics, Enlarge Your Penis Today - Here's How!, Dear Sir or Madam, I'm a Cerealian Prince, looking to deposit all these credits in a willing bank account, and the like.

Through with checking them all, you start to notice your other devices glitching one by one. The microwave is on a nuclear setting; the washing machine is making dying raptor noises; the refrigerator is moving on its own.

PHASE II

[ xxxx ] You haven't seen the worst of it. Oh no. The toilet lid happens to be flopping up and down, and when you peer down it, you notice a single, coiled robotic tentacle, moving around the lid and trying to stretch upwards. It continues to flop about, trying to get your attention. If you're unlucky to be using the restroom at this time, well. Have fun.

PHASE III

[ xxxx ] The tenacles aren't just coming out of the toilets anymore. They're popping out of the sinks and all of the city's sewer ways. As you look outside, you'll see them grabbing a hold of pedestrians and strangling them or trying to tug them down inside the sewer. Since they're simple machines, they can be cut down, but they won't go without a vicious fight.

PHASE IV

[ xxxx ] The sewer covers all burst to reveal what lies underneath. Armies of them start to crawl out -the sewer-cleaning droids of Cerealia- onto the streets without reprieve. The droves will need to be exterminated as they will continue to attack without cause or reason.

BONUS

[ whyo'clock ] For those of you who decide to send the Cerealian prince money, you will find that your bank account is actually gifted with twice as many credits as it had before. The Cerealian prince will then send you a video of his true form to thank you personally. Congratulations! Thanks to the fabulous glitches, the Pimpbot5000 has gone from "Bitch, where's my money" mode to "Have all the money, all the money ever" mode. Enjoy!

[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE

Welcome to CEREALIA's third Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Threaded | Flat

phase iii + iv;

He's familiar with glitches, yes. Time spent in Hinoto-Ri has taught him the meaning of his modern term - errors in code which led to a cascade of mistakes down the program sequence. But for something as important as the mainframe of the city itself to be affected...

It has to be something to do with the water. But what?

Extending his awareness into the water supply revealed no foreign objects, as far as he could tell. Awanagi did not turn up anything in its scans either - but then again, it could be something inorganic and thus undetectable by both their filters. The government did not seem to be making any headway into solving the problem, either...

The strategist stands by the pavement, attempting to search for anything unusual in the sewers. However, the perpetrator makes itself known before he can finish - a tentacle snakes out of the sewer cover and shoots straight for his ankle. He darts backward with practiced reflexes, and his sword is in his hands in an instant - there is a crescent-flash of bright blue light, and the tentacle lies twitching on the floor.

But it definitely isn't over yet - a low rumble sounds below the ground, and a droid bursts out of the manhole cover. Takakage immediately steps backward, putting some distance between him and the hostile robot -

- a glance reveals no visible gaps in its exoskeleton. And a robot runs on electricity, does it not? For someone as attuned to water as he is... this will be a difficult fight. He needs to think, to come up with a plan - but will he have enough time?

phase ii;

[ OH MY GOD WHY ARE THERE TENTACLES IN THE TOILET -

- if you had been trying to use one of the public restrooms in the metro station, you might have heard a (thankfully not very loud) half-scream followed by a boom coming from the Female section. And if you were to open the restroom door and take a look, you would see a girl of around sixteen leaning on one of the walls with a gun in her hand. There seems to be smoke coming from one of the stalls.

She seems out of breath, but quickly offers you an apologetic smile when she sees you. ] Oh, uh... I'm sorry. There's something strange inside the cubicle - you might not want to use it.

[ ... she might have Ziodyned it a liiiittle to hard. Mental note to try and relearn how to control her Personas better. It's been a while since she last used them. ]

Edited 2014-10-01 08:22 (UTC)

[ Okay, so the appliances have gone crazy. Not the worst thing he's had to deal with and, if he's being honest, it's kind of funny. It's not dangerous, or killing anyone.

Which is probably why he's entertaining himself by sitting on top of the moving refrigerator, eating ice cream right out of the carton. ]

[PHASE I: VOICE

Edgeworth is not at all impressed with these ads and spam e-mails. And he is even more unimpressed with the washing machine groaning deeply, the lid flopping up and down like the mouth of a giant creature. While trying to delete the spam and looking over the washing machine to see if he can make heads or tails of it, he will send out this voice message. His tone is imbued with frustration and weariness; as if being stuck here wasn't enough, now the technology was acting up.]

Would anyone know how to repair washing machines, or stop this incessant flood of spam messages in my inbox?

[PHASE II: RESIDENCES; ACTION

Hope you weren't planning on spending a quiet day, because your day just got noisier with the addition of one, extremely loud and incredibly close:]

Nnnnggghhhooooh!

[What ensues is the sound of steel clashing with steel, a resounding door slam, and frantic footsteps as Edgeworth hurriedly sprints out of his apartment. His clothes are flecked with small water stains, and in his right hand is a saber. His breathing is quick and shallow, and his feet are spaced in a ready battle stance in case something nasty crawls out of his pad.

Tapping him on the shoulder right now would not be advisable while he's armed.]

[PHASE IV: RESIDENTIAL DISTRICT; ACTION

It wasn't just the toilets. It wasn't just the sinks. And now, they weren't just robotic tentacles. The scene outside is nothing short of pandemonium as people scramble to get out of the droids' way, slam doors into the robots' faces (well, they sort of had faces, maybe) or even climb whatever is climbable in the vicinity.

Edgeworth himself jumps when, several yards away, a sewer cover pops as easily as one would pop the cover of a canister of potato chips. But he promptly stiffens his resolve as he remembers why he even came out here. He doesn't consider himself a hero, but if he doesn't do anything, those sewer droids will wreak havoc upon the district. Besides, his nerves were already buzzing with the adrenaline of combat, his sword hand trembling a touch. Hopefully he hasn't yet forgotten how to fight properly. The tentacle in his bathroom was one thing. A full droid was another.

He sprints forward, blade in hand as he parries the tentacle strikes. One grazes the bridge of his nose, another knocks him to the ground, but he manages to hold his own. And yet, he is dimly aware that he is only fighting one. There were so many other droids on the loose that had to be taken care of, and he was merely one man who had only so recently become trained for combat. Trained, but not an expert.

HELP HIM FIGHT THESE THINGS, WOW.]

[ PHASE I || ACTION ]

[Guess who tried to make contact with the Cerealian prince. If you guessed that it was one (1) technologically-incompetent crab head, you would be correct.

Honestly Tenka knows nothing about spam and even less about e-mail. People didn't have time for this shit because where he's from, they had crops to tend and people to kill instead. This is a really strange hobby so honestly he's new to the place and figures he has nothing to lose. Why not try to befriend a prince?

This is now leading to him chasing after his vacuum cleaner. Does he know it's a vacuum cleaner? Probably not. He just knows that it's in his possession and probably shouldn't be going anywhere.

How is it on the streets already....?]

Hey, catch that weird thing for me! It's got a mind of its own...!!

[ PHASE IV || ACTION ]

[This is a lot different than taking down random ronin. Regardless, Tenka's gotten the idea that if these robot things aren't taken care of, then a lot of people could get hurt! So it's with practiced movements that he's using his metal fan to slice off their tentacle arms, leaving them immobile and -

Well, eventually he's got a neat mountain of them and he's standing on top of them, flicking his metal fan disdainfully. Now he's hopping off as soon as he can, though not without a crude comment.]

These things smell like crap. Is this what the future is like? Does it all smell like crap....?

[Thank god someone is asking the important questions.]

phase iii;

[ The technology of this world so far hasn't been very friendly with Yuan or anyone else, that much she's able to confirm in her few hours of being here. And it just so happens that the worst is slowly approaching as she walks around the city in hopes of finding a few familiar faces.

But that's especially difficult and she immediately pushes the thought aside when she witnesses a coiled robotic tentacle erupt from the sewers. Though she wasn't their target, she would not sit idly by and watch as someone is attacked. ] Watch out!

[ She brings her hands together and then draws one of them back, as if she were drawing back a bow and the light appearing in her hands is the arrow. In fact whomever is being attacked my even immediately recognize it as an arrow, especially when her fingers part and she allows the the light to let fly. Piercing the tentacle and mercilessly going straight through it. But that isn't the end, there's no need for someone to specifically predict that, and so she advances forward quickly to who was attacked. ]

Are you alright? Quickly, let us escape.

bonus;

[ Yeah she sent money to the Cerealian prince. Why?

Well.. let's just say that this sort of technology is too advanced for her and with one swipe of her finger she ended up making some sort of agreement. (Honestly she thought that maybe if she forgot it that it would forget about her, but obviously that's not the case. And she can't really say that what she received was a bad thing.)

She does, however, tilt her head to the side when she receives the video, going completely silent before she finally parts her lips: ] It's..

It's cute!

PHASE III

When the tentacle had shot out of the toilet, Ruby's gut reaction was pretty much KILL IT WITH FIRE. In fact there was a nice sized crater where her bathroom used to be. When they started coming out of the sinks, however, she decided that just shooting them wouldn't be an option. So now, on her kitchen table, there lies a severed tentacle. Ruby has procured an outfit that looks somewhere between mad scientist and mechanic and was now poking at the thing to make sure it wasn't going to move while dissecting it.

"I never thought I'd be saying this, but... Time for some homework!"

Threaded | Flat

Kobayakawa Takakage | Samurai Warriors (4) [CRAU]

Minami Arisato | Persona 3 Portable

wanijima akito • air gear • previous game history

Miles Edgeworth | Ace Attorney | comes equipped with previous game history...and skillz

Kumou Tenka || Donten ni Warau

yuan yongje | cavalier of the abyss

Ruby Rose | RWBY [CRAU]