PHASE I [ 9 00 ] You open your eyes, and there is a chicken pecking at your face. It's not a very happy chicken, either, but if you can manage to fend it off, then it will be clear that you are in a village. It is... medieval-esque, in that video game sort of way; the details don’t seem too clear, but if you look to your left, there’s a cow! And to your right, a well! Ignore the clear evidence of modern technology in the buildings such as lights, gas, and 21st century plumbing; CERES is dedicated to authenticity.
Looks like the new ViViD level has finally been released, and everyone is invited to play, whether they want to or not.
The game (because this time, that's surely what it is) will start simple. Everyone begins in the same place and every NPC villager will say the same thing: to get out of here, you have to go through the caves. They’ll shove a stick at you (“take this, it’s dangerous to go alone”) and off you go, into the caves… !
Which are full of tiny rats and more chickens. They will try to fight you, but it’s really not very effective when they’re perfectly small and average (especially when everyone still has their typical powers and abilities -- CERES didn't mess with those at all this time). The caves are winding and circular and maze-like, and to make matters even worse, the only ones around are the other poor saps stuck in this situation.
But if you kill enough of the rats, you’ll get to hear the satisfying level up jingle. Congratulations! You are now level 2. It's probably satisfying just for a minute or so until you finally find your way out of those maze like caves and -- You're back in the village again. Great.
PHASE II [ 930 ] You’re carrying a bag. No matter what you do, you can’t take it off, either; it’s stuck with you through thick and thin. But it is awfully heavy. Maybe you should actually open it and see what’s inside?
The problem is, it’s going to take a while.
The bag has clearly tapped into its true hammerspace nature; there are items for days in there, and they’re all very, very strange. You might end up covered in hats of all sorts, buried in logs as you pull out one after another, or look like you have an odd fetish for pickaxes.
Maybe there’s 1/3rd of an evil turnip, half a piece of pie and an egg.
Geez, what in the world are you supposed to do with all of that?
PHASE III [ 1200 ] Eventually, you make it out of the caves the right way despite the harassment of the rats and chickens and the fact you'll keep perpetually getting lost. Hooray! You come out into a large, peaceful, scenic meadow, with a small river bubbling off to one side, and a house.
You'll immediately notice that there’s a bridge to cross the river, but there’s someone standing in the way of that bridge. When you approach to go past him, no matter what you try to do, you won't be able to. Asking him why he won't move will only get one thing in response -- “Bring me a fish. Cooked.”
Then he’ll shove a fishing rod at you and expect you to get to it. You can’t attack him, you can’t get past him -- looks like the only thing to do is to catch and cook that fish. Time to sit back, relax, and get to work. Or maybe you’ll team up with someone else and be the person in the house making sure that the fish gets cooked properly. For some reason, if you leave it too long it turns right into a pile of ashes.
Weirdly though, no matter how good you are at cooking or fishing usually, it’s as if you’re right back at the metaphorical level one. Any sort of seasoning or effort to cook it faster falls flat and in the end you'll only be able to place the fish in the pan and set it on the stove, whole. This may take awhile.
And if you try to cross the river itself, well... no, really, don’t try to cross the river.
At least if you get eaten, you’ll just respawn back in the village, but do have fun traveling through the caves again!
PHASE IV [ 1430 ] You made it through the caves. You made it across the river (with a slightly burnt fish). You’ve made it to the wide open world, and you can finally adventure to your heart’s content. You take a step forward on the road and --
A message pops up, bright red and in your face.
[ Restricted Area: Members Only ]
No matter what you do, you can’t go past that point. In fact, if you’re not careful and you’re going too fast, you might run face-first into it like it’s an invisible wall (which it is).
Then, just like that, you're back in the village. Again. Only this time, there's a nice, blinking message -- Pay a small subscription fee to access member's content. Oh well. No big deal, you can just start again.
Except then you see a cool sword and when you try to pick it up, you'll get that same message, and end up transported back to the village yet again. And again, with some shiny new armor. And again, with that attention-grabbing NPC over there. Looks like you're caught in an infinite loop here but no matter how much you inspect the pop up, there's no... actual way to pay the subscription fee (and why would you want to?). But at least you have company, because you can't be the only person who thought that sword was cool.
(It was really, really cool.)
BONUS [ xxxx ] What’s that on the ground in front of you? It looks like… some bunny ears? Or maybe it’s a chicken head, or a pumpkin head. Either way, the moment you touch it, you have a strong need to put it on your head -- and once it’s on, it’s not coming off.
To make matters worse, each hat has an effect associated with it; the bunny ears will, in fact, randomly turn you into a cute fluffy bunny for anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour before you pop right back to yourself, whereas the pumpkin hat will, in a complete reversal, turn you into Cinderella for a bit -- complete with beautiful ball gown and the ability to talk to all of those cute fluffy bunnies.
Also the rats will love you, so maybe you should go back to the caves again.
Meanwhile, the chicken hat won't transform you into any odd creature, but it will inspire in the people wearing them a very real, persistent desire to build a nest. This will involve picking up twigs, trash, shiny things and whatever else catches your eye to try to build a nest out of it. You'll also try to pick up whatever food you find on the ground to eat, have the weirdest desire to lay an egg, and basically have all sorts of odd chicken-like instincts inflicted upon you.
At least you look festive!
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phase one!
Uaaah!
[ Poor chicken. Sora's reflexes are good enough to swing the little guy straight back where it came from, only it ends up hitting the ground and rolling until it hits a wall, KO'd. Sora's got the stick lowered, tip hanging near the ground. ]
Chickens aren't supposed to fly, right? [ Sora, who are you talking to... Maybe he's just not used to Donald and Goofy not being there. ]
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Really…who else could it be? She pauses, nudging a rat out of the way with the tip of her Keyblade before bolting around the corner.
That chicken sure does roll near her feet and she stares at it first before she looks up and spots that boy. Despite everything and how weird this is? She can't help but give a teasing grin.]
Not like that, I think. [Hi Sora. You're about 1.5 seconds away from being hugged but she's gauging his reaction first.]
man i hope i read that arrival experience page right
Sora blinks hard in shock, the memory of himself in that "final battle" coming into his memory. Riku and Kairi and all of his friends' bodies had been lying on the breaking Destiny Islands beach while Sora fought those monsters. He hadn't saved them, and they told him the only chance to reclaim his world was to work for CERES. But here she was, and so is he.
Sora's hands loosen, nearly dropping the stick as it slips from his hand, but his grip quickly reaffirms. Fists tight and held out to his front, he leans forward, his voice strained with disbelief but bursting with joy. ]
Kairi!
[ Hope she's ready for a running hug, since Sora is already bolting for her! He won't knock her over or anything, and he slows down just as he gets to her, but if she's not already inviting him in for the hug, Sora is going in for one himself. ]
well there's no pile of bodies to land on so I think you're okay...:P also curse you lack of jugglr
Like she's ever denied either of her boys a hug. She'd been moving forward the moment he breaks into a run and she's quick to dismiss her Keyblade before he bodyslams into her, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug. He's in one piece. He's safe. That's one of two and that's important to her. She keeps a tight grip on him as she looks him over.]
You're okay! [She's pretty much in a state of disbelief and joy, too. She hadn't expected to find him so soon but…it helps. A lot. She doesn't let go, but there is a pause.]
Sora? Did you hit that chicken with the stick?
WE DONT SPEAK OF THAT... you're not using chrome? :o there's an lj juggler extension
Earnestly: ] So're you! [ There are so many questions he wants to ask, but let him bask in the fact that one of his best friends in the entire world is there and alive. Let's ignore all the rats and chickens still skittering around elsewhere. They can wait while they have a tender KH cutscene moment.
Except that goes out the window pretty quickly. Sora blinks, like somehow Kairi had said something to him in crazy alien gibberish. ]
Huh?
[ Then his eyes go to the heap of chicken behind her. Then to the stick in his hand. Then back to her. ]
I mean... I had to! [ He did it. He's a chicken abuser. ] I wasn't sure what it was until I hit it. It was coming right at me!
[... Hang on. His brows furrow as he tilts his chin. ]
Hang on. Did the chicken come from you?
this is me wishing I could use the extension on my work desktop still lalala...
But it's not like his worries aren't justified. Instead...there's a giggle at his indignant response which turns into full-on laughter as he puts the pieces together. She re-summons the Keyblade with a little smile when she calms down again.]
It wouldn't leave me alone, so I had to, too. [That's a totally legit excuse.] Where are we? I haven't seen anyone else in these caves so far.
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Thanks a lot. [ Yeah, Kairi. Just as she withdraws to nudge away some of the rats, Sora seems to remember their unfortunate company. He frowns, releasing her as she summons her Keyblade to push away some of the hissing rats with the tip of his stick. ]
Not sure. I got told by someone in a village to go over here if I wanted to leave. So there's gotta be an end somewhere, right?
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I think so. Someone else told me the same thing, but I've been walking through here for a long time. There has to be an exit we're missing. [She brightens a little though anyway.] But if we're together we'll find a way, won't we?
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He gets a moment to grin at Kairi between shoving a peking chicken back towards a wall with the end of his stick. ]
You bet! [ Chicken crisis averted. He comes back to her side, brandishing his stick a bit in the air beside him. ] It'll be a lot easier if there's two of us.
[ Though in only a few steps, Sora's smile is already receding gently as he considers Kairi beside him. ]
But, Kairi... How'd you get here? Were you turned into code too?