PHASE I [ 9 00 ] You open your eyes, and there is a chicken pecking at your face. It's not a very happy chicken, either, but if you can manage to fend it off, then it will be clear that you are in a village. It is... medieval-esque, in that video game sort of way; the details don’t seem too clear, but if you look to your left, there’s a cow! And to your right, a well! Ignore the clear evidence of modern technology in the buildings such as lights, gas, and 21st century plumbing; CERES is dedicated to authenticity.
Looks like the new ViViD level has finally been released, and everyone is invited to play, whether they want to or not.
The game (because this time, that's surely what it is) will start simple. Everyone begins in the same place and every NPC villager will say the same thing: to get out of here, you have to go through the caves. They’ll shove a stick at you (“take this, it’s dangerous to go alone”) and off you go, into the caves… !
Which are full of tiny rats and more chickens. They will try to fight you, but it’s really not very effective when they’re perfectly small and average (especially when everyone still has their typical powers and abilities -- CERES didn't mess with those at all this time). The caves are winding and circular and maze-like, and to make matters even worse, the only ones around are the other poor saps stuck in this situation.
But if you kill enough of the rats, you’ll get to hear the satisfying level up jingle. Congratulations! You are now level 2. It's probably satisfying just for a minute or so until you finally find your way out of those maze like caves and -- You're back in the village again. Great.
PHASE II [ 930 ] You’re carrying a bag. No matter what you do, you can’t take it off, either; it’s stuck with you through thick and thin. But it is awfully heavy. Maybe you should actually open it and see what’s inside?
The problem is, it’s going to take a while.
The bag has clearly tapped into its true hammerspace nature; there are items for days in there, and they’re all very, very strange. You might end up covered in hats of all sorts, buried in logs as you pull out one after another, or look like you have an odd fetish for pickaxes.
Maybe there’s 1/3rd of an evil turnip, half a piece of pie and an egg.
Geez, what in the world are you supposed to do with all of that?
PHASE III [ 1200 ] Eventually, you make it out of the caves the right way despite the harassment of the rats and chickens and the fact you'll keep perpetually getting lost. Hooray! You come out into a large, peaceful, scenic meadow, with a small river bubbling off to one side, and a house.
You'll immediately notice that there’s a bridge to cross the river, but there’s someone standing in the way of that bridge. When you approach to go past him, no matter what you try to do, you won't be able to. Asking him why he won't move will only get one thing in response -- “Bring me a fish. Cooked.”
Then he’ll shove a fishing rod at you and expect you to get to it. You can’t attack him, you can’t get past him -- looks like the only thing to do is to catch and cook that fish. Time to sit back, relax, and get to work. Or maybe you’ll team up with someone else and be the person in the house making sure that the fish gets cooked properly. For some reason, if you leave it too long it turns right into a pile of ashes.
Weirdly though, no matter how good you are at cooking or fishing usually, it’s as if you’re right back at the metaphorical level one. Any sort of seasoning or effort to cook it faster falls flat and in the end you'll only be able to place the fish in the pan and set it on the stove, whole. This may take awhile.
And if you try to cross the river itself, well... no, really, don’t try to cross the river.
At least if you get eaten, you’ll just respawn back in the village, but do have fun traveling through the caves again!
PHASE IV [ 1430 ] You made it through the caves. You made it across the river (with a slightly burnt fish). You’ve made it to the wide open world, and you can finally adventure to your heart’s content. You take a step forward on the road and --
A message pops up, bright red and in your face.
[ Restricted Area: Members Only ]
No matter what you do, you can’t go past that point. In fact, if you’re not careful and you’re going too fast, you might run face-first into it like it’s an invisible wall (which it is).
Then, just like that, you're back in the village. Again. Only this time, there's a nice, blinking message -- Pay a small subscription fee to access member's content. Oh well. No big deal, you can just start again.
Except then you see a cool sword and when you try to pick it up, you'll get that same message, and end up transported back to the village yet again. And again, with some shiny new armor. And again, with that attention-grabbing NPC over there. Looks like you're caught in an infinite loop here but no matter how much you inspect the pop up, there's no... actual way to pay the subscription fee (and why would you want to?). But at least you have company, because you can't be the only person who thought that sword was cool.
(It was really, really cool.)
BONUS [ xxxx ] What’s that on the ground in front of you? It looks like… some bunny ears? Or maybe it’s a chicken head, or a pumpkin head. Either way, the moment you touch it, you have a strong need to put it on your head -- and once it’s on, it’s not coming off.
To make matters worse, each hat has an effect associated with it; the bunny ears will, in fact, randomly turn you into a cute fluffy bunny for anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour before you pop right back to yourself, whereas the pumpkin hat will, in a complete reversal, turn you into Cinderella for a bit -- complete with beautiful ball gown and the ability to talk to all of those cute fluffy bunnies.
Also the rats will love you, so maybe you should go back to the caves again.
Meanwhile, the chicken hat won't transform you into any odd creature, but it will inspire in the people wearing them a very real, persistent desire to build a nest. This will involve picking up twigs, trash, shiny things and whatever else catches your eye to try to build a nest out of it. You'll also try to pick up whatever food you find on the ground to eat, have the weirdest desire to lay an egg, and basically have all sorts of odd chicken-like instincts inflicted upon you.
At least you look festive!
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ] |
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Flashpoint | Transformers IDW OC
"Why can't the weirdos here have onboard storage like normal people!?!" Except this bag seems determined to rival Flashpoint's natural built-in storage options. She can't even put the fragging thing down, as evidenced by how she flings the thing in an arc, trying to eject it away.
...which only serves to fling some of the contents all over the ground and towards unsuspecting passersby. Hopefully there's nothing pointy in that lot. Or smooshy and rotten. Or--flower petals? What the frag is this!? And what's that vibrating noise?
[Bonus]
Flashpoint's a risk-taker, so touching strange hats in this bizarre world is a level 2 on the scale of dramatic daring in her book. Oooooh but she was so wrong. Because apparently this hideously beaked and beady-eyed thing is stuck to her helm, canted to the left in some creepy, inquisitive leer. Seriously, what kind of monster has fleshy red dangling things hanging from its chin, gross! The crest though, she can relate to that at least, but hers is clearly superior.
What she can't relate to is the sudden need to settle in, but Flashpoint's doing it anyway. The nearly 17ft robot stands, hands on hips, inspecting her handiwork. Which is quite possibly the largest mostly-metal nest any chicken has ever seen. Except it's missing something...
So hey, that shiny thing you A) just put down, B) have sticking out of your pack, c) dropped on the ground, or d) are currently still wearing looks like great nesting material and she needs it far more than you do! Especially that armor; nests need protection! Don't mind her as she reaches for it like she was destined to own it. "That's just what I need!"
[Wildcard]
((Toss something at me and I'll catch!))
[ooc: Brackets or prose is welcome! Feel free to fill in the blanks in either scenario and come up with something flying out of the bag or that she's snatching from your person for her nest. I'll roll with anything! Inappropriate things are a-okay!]
Bonus!
"Is that right?" She's lived a long time, but a robot this size is new. Marvelous! Terrifying. Juuust a tad! Granted, she herself must be a surprise, welcomed or no, to most as well; still though, she's only...sort of human - and pales at those grabby hands.
She gulps and remains genial, albeit smiling awkwardly. "What do you need them for? I bet we could work out a trade. Just, y'know, I need my ears in tact."
Woot! :D Also I apologize for her
BUT, the larger part of her chicken hat compelled existence says logic be dammed!!
"Yes! Absolutely! That's what I'm missing. It's too drab. Splashes of gold are just what I need don't you think? What do you want for them?" Dear Primus what IS she saying?! Speaking of splashes of yellow-gold though, that certainly is an attractively deco'd spider this girl is riding.
Wait.
"Is that thing really tame?" Because wild spiders are a big NOPE. Especially tiny ones that get past the seams of her plating. N_O_P_E.
flashpoint is best bird 10 out of 10
That chicken hat must be on too tight. Or, it's enchanted and these were the results. The latter seems most probable to Viselle, and so she's a little more empathetic to the situation. She too had once fell victim to embarrassing magical affects; don't eat the kitsune, children.
And then there was the matter of her own curious anatomy brought to attention; speckled gold, black, white, and red bottomed abdomen. "Uh...well this is all me from the waist down, actually." She wiggles and waves her gold banded legs for good measure; walks in little circle with arms raised to show no trickery. Sashay away.
Best bird meets best spider lady, good good
And maybe Flashpoint will live this down whenever she finally gets out of here, but if nesting escalates to attempted egg laying? PLEASE, for the love of decency and an already tarnished old ego, someone put her out of misery.
"All you...?!" An assortment of expressions do a slam dance across Flashpoint's face, everywhere from fascination to more NOPE. The leg wiggling though, that is decidedly cuter than the skittering mass invasion tactics of the little green glowly radioactive creepers she has previous experience with. "Is that how humans do beast-modes or are you a totally different species?"
[phase ii though man this was a tough choice]
"I don't know where the scrap you come from but in the Decepticons...." Wait. Wait just a klik here. "YOU!" HARRUMPH. "Should have expected a sneak attack."
I aim to please!
They may have a faction truce of sorts but that doesn't preclude immature trickery. Or verbal jabs for that matter. "Maybe it's a message to eat your vegetables. Are you deficient in any essential nutrients?" Flashpoint, also, has perhaps watched a little too much vid entertainment. Hey, she was laid up for almost a month! That's her excuse. Clearly she's relieved to see him though, judging the utter depth of her snark.
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Oh yeah, he went there. He totally went there, walking-catastrophe!point!
"Only thing I'm fraggin' deficient in is some fraggin' sanity. This place ain't helping." Any of this. Also, think fast, because Deadlock's lobbing Plushie!Turnip back at you!
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"Then don't complain if ya get yourself into that trouble!" Because she is all about trouble. With...a small sack thing. That seems to bottomless. That's just WRONG okay?
"Sweet of you though, to be so concerned." That's what you get Deadlock for sawing her back. Dagger compliments. TAKE THAT.
"I think deficient sanity is a requisite for--AACK!" Turnip to face; she should have seen that coming! HOW DARE. Maybe there's another in this bottomless pit of storage pack? She grabs for something soft and tosses: have a positively beatific vegetable, Deadlock. "I'll show you helping!"
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"Someone's gotta keep you from doing stupid scrap." And it's a statement of how screwed they are when that 'someone' is Deadlock.
Heh, that's Deadlock's aim: Turnip to the face! Her aim's ALMOST as good, though, but only because he turns his face, so the beet bounces off his cheek armor. "Why you got a bag of fraggin' plushies in the first place? And," And more importantly, "why don't they explode?!"
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That's sarcasm by the way: she's not thanking you for slag at the moment.
Damn his aim. But damn right her aim's pretty good too, though it helps that happy beets are fairly aerodynamic. "I didn't put these in here!" But that gives her a thought... "Maybe if I keep pulling things out, I'll find something that does?!" Explode that is. Have an artichoke grenade. Hopefully? Well okay...the leaves come off when it impacts at least?
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OH SHE DID NOT JUST. "YOU NEED ME!" Everyone needs Deadlock. But especially her.
But he gets the sarcasm: it is a language he speaks.
"So you're carrying around stuff you don't even know?" Really, Flashpoint. Not smart. And when Deadlock calls something not smart, it's....really not smart.
The plushtichoke plops on the ground at his feet, rolling over to grin up manically at him, one leaf slapping him on the foot. Not impressed. "Hfff. At least the fraggin' glitter grenade was embarrassing for me!" This? This is just sad.
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But whoa hold up a sec, the vehemence in his tone leaves skidmarks on her helm. And maybe her face too, given the blinky stare she gives him. Sudden assault of the Feelings. Kudos to Deadlock for turning comedy into tragedy in one shout. "Not to get myself out of trouble!" Okay wait. "Not for stupid stuff like this!" Dammit...both imply that she does in fact need him. It's truth and it stings in a scary kind of way.
"It's their stupid technology, magic, whatever. What's in your bag, huh?" Because everyone has one here. It's like a bizarre prerequisite to the native stupidity. Hopefully it's something horribly embarrassing. "And better watch what you ask for because I might find one of those in here!" If she's lucky.
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PERFECT PLAN.
And of course what his yelling is supposed to cover is...he kinda needs her. To give him something to do, and, well, honestly, someone to put up with him. Deep down he knows he's not easy to get along with, and, yeah. Just shut up, you're stuck with him, yelling and not.
"None of your business what's in my bag! COOL STUFF, okay? Cool stuff is in my bag." He's...not technically kidding. Does she need any icepacks?
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So she can be all touched and awkward and regret asking in the first place.Right, so they're supposed to be so busy yelling at each other that it keeps the Feelings away? PERFECT PLAN #2! For the record, right now she can't think of anyone else she wants to be stuck with either, so it works out.
"If it's so COOL why not show me!?" Because she has....wait. What's that weird buzzing noise?
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"Because I don't like mechs who break promises, that's how." It makes sense in his head, shush.
And of course his plan is perfect. He's a master at fighting off the dreaded enemy of Feels.
"Because maybe you're not cool enough!" But Deadlock can tell when his bluff is being called, so, fine, he's gonna reach into his bag and whip it out!
Wait. What the frag is this?!?!
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"Did I make a promise...? I mean...before I died?" Because that would be super creepy. And awkward. She remembers promising not to die again. That's different. She stands by things she remembers. Stuff she doesn't....? YIKES.
"That's because I'm hot." What? The comeback not good enough? Okay, she'll whip out this...wand thing. With a weird vibrating bulb at the end. And brandish it like a sword. Versus his...what the frag IS that?
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"You made enough of a promise not to die afterwards!" See how slick that is? It's not a lie! It's a diversion! He's just, you know, INSURANCE.
"YOu know what I meant!" She probably did, too. No one likes a jerk, Flashpoint. Least of all, another jerk.
But this thing...is no match for that. Which is buzzing ominously. All he's got is this weird thing that looks like a panda's face with long tails on the sides. Hufff. Some kinda weapon, right? He'll prove it--he's gonna use the tails as handles and try to thwack that thing outta her hand!
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"That's not answering the question!! Did I make any promises I don't remember!?!" Don't mind how high pitched that is, she's not gonna freak out about it or anything.
Wrong again though Deadlock, because apparently she likes you. Go Figure. "Maybe I'm not trying to be cool. Too old for that slag." Which is...sadly true. Also when she IS cool, you better believe it's without even trying. (the rest of the time we won't talk about)
Ominous buzzing is right. What the frag is powering this thing, anyway? She's holding out, getting it as close to Deadlock and as far from her as possible. Flashpoint's uncertainty is her undoing though, because Deadlock easily panda-thwacks the thing out of her hand. Well guess what, the buzz is even more ominous on the floor.
"I did not put that in there. The bag. I mean." Though she's kind of wishing it could go back there.
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BWEEEOOOOBWEEEOOO, that's Deadlock's Quick Thinking alert. Frag.
Frag.
Uh.
"How do I know what you remember?"
There.
But that. That thing. On the ground. Which, by the way, is turning in a slow circle via the vibration, like some hideous weird version of Spin the Bottle. If it aims at Deadlock again, he's gonna pandawhip it again, jsyk. "That thing gonna explode?"
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PRIMUS DAMMIT. That question actually makes sense. STOP MAKING THIS HARD. "Well did I make any OTHER promises!?!"
Yeah, it's two kliks after that comes out her mouth that she realizes Deadlock could make-up anything he wanted in answer to that question and she'd have no way to verify it.
Yeah, let's move on and pretend she said nothing at all, (story of her life). Look at this weird thing the ground slowing making it's way around to pointing towards Deadlock again. "Maybe?" She's gonna look at it queerly and poke it with a toeplate. As if on cue it starts doing something she could only call the mechanical hula. "Uh. Might be useful if it didn't...?" For what she is not saying.
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"Why should I tell you?!" Seriously. He can't hold fake pretend promises over her head if he tells her the truth.
But he can't resist. "You told me you thought I was hot." SMUG. What? WHAT!?!? A mech can stroke his own ego, can't he?
When she pokes it with her foot, Deadlock jumps back, holding his...evil panda hat nunchuks (hatchuks?) as he lands in a crouch. "Useful for WHAT?" And don't let that point at him again. It's making him feel weird.
/sob, she's such an idiot sometimes
"Can't keep promises I don't remember!" DUH. Come on, give her some credit here, at least she's not totally writing them off as Not Her Problem™. Other!Flashpoint made those promises and she was clearly inferior since she died. SO THERE.
But what is this now? "That's cuz you are hot, dumbaft." But wait, suddenly there's alarms going off. Time for more questioning! "Under WHAT context exactly did I say that!? You weren't... we didn't...?" She's peering at you so hard now Deadlock. Does she have to get jealous of this other Flashpoint? What else doesn't she remember? Wait, is that why he's so mad that she died? HOLY FRAG IT IT MUST BE. ",i>YOU DIDN'T!?" This is as wrong as it can get, Other!Flashpoint can score better than she can.
Flashpoint's so caught up in this horrible revelation that she almost forgets about the crazy vibrating thing on the ground and those wacky pandachucks Deadlock's got. But then inspiration strikes. "Good for interrogation purposes!" Watch out Deadlock, because she's gonna scoop that thing back up and assault you with it. Clearly some form of torture needs to be applied here to get the information she wants.
whenever they get together it's like the idiot olympics
"That's why I remember 'em for you." See? Flawless logic. He'll remember as many fake promises for her as he, erm, she, needs.
Wait, what? She's agreeing? Frag, that almost takes the fun out of it. Yeah, it does take the fun out of it and replaces it with something kind of warm and squooshily.
"What kinda mech you think I am!?!?" Spoiler: not the kind of mech who interfaces with floral scened melting femmes. Take that however you want it.
WHAT IS SHE DOING TOUCHING THAT THING!?! "If that blows up I ain't gonna reattach YOUR fingers!" Just, you know, fair warning. Also, keep it away from him!
and they fight over the gold medal
"Doesn't help if you don't tell me," she grumbles, rethinking the idea that she might try and honor such promises. Especially if she got none of the benefits. Which there should be some kind of benefit is she called him hot, right?
Except, just now there wasn't. Frag.
"You tell me!" And Deadlock better, because Flashpoint is going for joints and seams and anywhere she sees an opening to which she can apply this wigglewand to. She'll tickle the answers out of him! Because that's how this thing probably feels against plating and mesh right, ticklish? "Worth the risk!" Because needs an advantage here and this is it.
She can TRY to take his medal! /swat!
Hands off, heathen!! /smack!
/hides medal in storage compartment
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guess who's procrastinating housecleaning?
best kind of procrastination IMO
Holidays: over!
WOO! \o\ /o/
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