PHASE I [ 9 00 ] You open your eyes, and there is a chicken pecking at your face. It's not a very happy chicken, either, but if you can manage to fend it off, then it will be clear that you are in a village. It is... medieval-esque, in that video game sort of way; the details don’t seem too clear, but if you look to your left, there’s a cow! And to your right, a well! Ignore the clear evidence of modern technology in the buildings such as lights, gas, and 21st century plumbing; CERES is dedicated to authenticity.
Looks like the new ViViD level has finally been released, and everyone is invited to play, whether they want to or not.
The game (because this time, that's surely what it is) will start simple. Everyone begins in the same place and every NPC villager will say the same thing: to get out of here, you have to go through the caves. They’ll shove a stick at you (“take this, it’s dangerous to go alone”) and off you go, into the caves… !
Which are full of tiny rats and more chickens. They will try to fight you, but it’s really not very effective when they’re perfectly small and average (especially when everyone still has their typical powers and abilities -- CERES didn't mess with those at all this time). The caves are winding and circular and maze-like, and to make matters even worse, the only ones around are the other poor saps stuck in this situation.
But if you kill enough of the rats, you’ll get to hear the satisfying level up jingle. Congratulations! You are now level 2. It's probably satisfying just for a minute or so until you finally find your way out of those maze like caves and -- You're back in the village again. Great.
PHASE II [ 930 ] You’re carrying a bag. No matter what you do, you can’t take it off, either; it’s stuck with you through thick and thin. But it is awfully heavy. Maybe you should actually open it and see what’s inside?
The problem is, it’s going to take a while.
The bag has clearly tapped into its true hammerspace nature; there are items for days in there, and they’re all very, very strange. You might end up covered in hats of all sorts, buried in logs as you pull out one after another, or look like you have an odd fetish for pickaxes.
Maybe there’s 1/3rd of an evil turnip, half a piece of pie and an egg.
Geez, what in the world are you supposed to do with all of that?
PHASE III [ 1200 ] Eventually, you make it out of the caves the right way despite the harassment of the rats and chickens and the fact you'll keep perpetually getting lost. Hooray! You come out into a large, peaceful, scenic meadow, with a small river bubbling off to one side, and a house.
You'll immediately notice that there’s a bridge to cross the river, but there’s someone standing in the way of that bridge. When you approach to go past him, no matter what you try to do, you won't be able to. Asking him why he won't move will only get one thing in response -- “Bring me a fish. Cooked.”
Then he’ll shove a fishing rod at you and expect you to get to it. You can’t attack him, you can’t get past him -- looks like the only thing to do is to catch and cook that fish. Time to sit back, relax, and get to work. Or maybe you’ll team up with someone else and be the person in the house making sure that the fish gets cooked properly. For some reason, if you leave it too long it turns right into a pile of ashes.
Weirdly though, no matter how good you are at cooking or fishing usually, it’s as if you’re right back at the metaphorical level one. Any sort of seasoning or effort to cook it faster falls flat and in the end you'll only be able to place the fish in the pan and set it on the stove, whole. This may take awhile.
And if you try to cross the river itself, well... no, really, don’t try to cross the river.
At least if you get eaten, you’ll just respawn back in the village, but do have fun traveling through the caves again!
PHASE IV [ 1430 ] You made it through the caves. You made it across the river (with a slightly burnt fish). You’ve made it to the wide open world, and you can finally adventure to your heart’s content. You take a step forward on the road and --
A message pops up, bright red and in your face.
[ Restricted Area: Members Only ]
No matter what you do, you can’t go past that point. In fact, if you’re not careful and you’re going too fast, you might run face-first into it like it’s an invisible wall (which it is).
Then, just like that, you're back in the village. Again. Only this time, there's a nice, blinking message -- Pay a small subscription fee to access member's content. Oh well. No big deal, you can just start again.
Except then you see a cool sword and when you try to pick it up, you'll get that same message, and end up transported back to the village yet again. And again, with some shiny new armor. And again, with that attention-grabbing NPC over there. Looks like you're caught in an infinite loop here but no matter how much you inspect the pop up, there's no... actual way to pay the subscription fee (and why would you want to?). But at least you have company, because you can't be the only person who thought that sword was cool.
(It was really, really cool.)
BONUS [ xxxx ] What’s that on the ground in front of you? It looks like… some bunny ears? Or maybe it’s a chicken head, or a pumpkin head. Either way, the moment you touch it, you have a strong need to put it on your head -- and once it’s on, it’s not coming off.
To make matters worse, each hat has an effect associated with it; the bunny ears will, in fact, randomly turn you into a cute fluffy bunny for anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour before you pop right back to yourself, whereas the pumpkin hat will, in a complete reversal, turn you into Cinderella for a bit -- complete with beautiful ball gown and the ability to talk to all of those cute fluffy bunnies.
Also the rats will love you, so maybe you should go back to the caves again.
Meanwhile, the chicken hat won't transform you into any odd creature, but it will inspire in the people wearing them a very real, persistent desire to build a nest. This will involve picking up twigs, trash, shiny things and whatever else catches your eye to try to build a nest out of it. You'll also try to pick up whatever food you find on the ground to eat, have the weirdest desire to lay an egg, and basically have all sorts of odd chicken-like instincts inflicted upon you.
At least you look festive!
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3!
[ One Duo Maxwell might've watched too many old movies when he had a little spare time where he didn't need to be making repairs to his gundam, or playing with Deathscythe' controls to make sure that everything was up to par and where it was supposed to be. All that fine tuning and paying attention often lead to a brain that just needed a break, which meant that some mindless, shitty quality old movie was generally on Duo's plate for watching while he went over his next mission's specifications, or before he went and bothered someone about what they were going to do about dinner. He was a growing boy - he needed the damn food, even if it was canned or freeze dried, or.. caught in a river.
Imagine a certain long haired pilot's surprise when he hears a rather big splash from his spot in the long grass, his (as usual) black-clad figure sitting up from the long grass -
- and promptly busting in to laughter. ]
Geez, Heero! You don't wing the whole thing!
no subject
Why does he not have a handgun?
Then again... ]
If you think you can do better, go right ahead and try, but you'll have to get your own rod. I'm not going in after that one.
[ ...if he can get Duo to cover the catching and cooking, he might have a shot at making it out of here. It's not as if he hasn't swiped things from the other before. ]
no subject
I have my own rod, genius. I didn't chuck mine in to the river. [ In fact, it's sitting right there in front of him, the lure in the water, ever innocent looking even as it's buried in the ground and waiting for the first fish that would dare to take a bite. Howard might've actually managed to give Duo a few usable life lessons, for an old man. The braided pilot doesn't seem too fussed about Heero's situation, though, still smirking in the way that probably makes Heero want to shoot him even more. ]
And 'm not catchin' nothin' for you, Yuy. So don't even think about it.
no subject
[ Forget the handgun, where's an RPG when you need one?
There's no mention of asking him to, because let's face it, he wouldn't ask. He'll just do the smart thing and bide his time. Eventually Duo would catch something, and when he does... ]
And I didn't "chuck mine into the river", I just didn't care to hold onto it. [ Eh, technically it's the same thing, but saying he wasn't trying to hold onto it sounds better than saying 'I made an oopsie'.
Then again, if he holds Duo out over the water, could that braid double as a fishing line? ]
no subject
No, but I think I've got you pinned enough to know what shit you'll try. [ Duo might've been giving and too trusting the first time Heero managed to swipe his things, but... let's just say he isn't really apt to make the same mistakes two times in a row when it came to that. If anything, he's more likely to give Heero all kinds of hell instead of giving him what he needs or what, assistance wise.
He settles back in to his spot, relaxed for the moment. ]
Whatever man. You do some pretty dumb stuff, but you aren't that dumb. Nice try though.
no subject
I don't think there's anything on the other side of that bridge.
[ It's probably just one of those futile simulations that's supposed to have some sort of deeper meaning, like this entire place is life and they have to constantly screw up and make mistakes and have setbacks without ever reaching this lofty goal on the other side because by the time you'd unlock it, you either don't care anymore, the opportunity passed you by because you were too busy with something else, or you die and never get there. So maybe he's deciding this because he's been having technical difficulties, but then again, he hasn't seen anybody else get across either. ]
no subject
He nods as Heero voices his concerns, or well, assumptions. Duo had thought the same, at one point or another, in all of this mess. That at the end there may not be anything at the end of this whole stupid maze that he called life in this place. But there was no way of knowing that without at least getting there in the first place to see the end, and so the braided pilot had decided that he had to just brave forward and go ahead and see. Even if it meant doing all kinds of stupid shit and things that he normally wouldn't even bother with one way or another.
Duo props his ankle on top of his knee, one ear perked for anyone moving that shouldn't be there, or the sound of the rod moving in the dirt, anything that might indicate a change of condition. ]
I've had that thought too. But there's no way of knowing that without getting to the end in the first place.
no subject
that isn't Duoafter that response, but he's not that vindictive. He'd admitted his error and he would move on from there. It isn't the first time he's screwed up, but it's not every day that he acknowledges those mistakes in front of somebody else. Admitting faults feels too much like failure. It's okay, though, he's just bitter because he's so very out of his element here. ]If there's an end.
[ Perhaps it's against his better judgement, but speaking loudly enough that others could overhear -even if nothing they say is of any importance whatsoever- is a thing he really doesn't care to do, so after a few moments of silence on his part, he picks himself up to move closer to where Duo is seated. Alright, maybe a teeny tiny part of it is that there is nothing about this place that feels comfortable to him and Duo is familiar, so even if they do nothing more than irritate one another, he's fine with that. If there's any one thing he's picked up, it's that sometimes it's okay to have an ally in an unfamiliar place.
Now if only he had the... nerve? guts? courage? ability to shelve the ego? something like that... long enough to ask for help, he'd ask Duo to teach him to fish. Except yeah, whatever it is that he needs to be able to do that, he lacks. ]
How many times have you had to redo it?
no subject
Yeah, of course there's always that. [ This place seemed capable of a hell of a lot, considering that it reminded him of some old video game he'd played once out of severe boredom, but need for something to keep his mind occupied at the same time. As of right then, though, this almost seemed like a pretty good kind of vacation - at least the kind that Duo wouldn't complain about for now. He'll get bored soon enough and try something really stupid, but for now?
He might be kid of enjoying himself. ]
Redo it? I dunno... I don't think I have? Other than when I accidentally found out how to get through the maze part by crushing a rat with a rock by accident...
... And then it's family attacked me..
no subject
[ One time?! Okay, how?! Why is it that Duo, the one he'd have expected to be repeating it left and right, hasn't had to... but he's been forced to go back through it enough times that if he has to do it again, he's going to hurt someone? This isn't fair at all. ]
You should try swimming the river.
[ Alright, so maybe there's a little bit of a vengeful bone in his body. It irks him that he's the one having difficulties here, but he also knows that if Duo (or anybody else for that matter) were to try where he could see it, he'd stop them. ]