PHASE I [ 9 00 ] You open your eyes, and there is a chicken pecking at your face. It's not a very happy chicken, either, but if you can manage to fend it off, then it will be clear that you are in a village. It is... medieval-esque, in that video game sort of way; the details don’t seem too clear, but if you look to your left, there’s a cow! And to your right, a well! Ignore the clear evidence of modern technology in the buildings such as lights, gas, and 21st century plumbing; CERES is dedicated to authenticity.
Looks like the new ViViD level has finally been released, and everyone is invited to play, whether they want to or not.
The game (because this time, that's surely what it is) will start simple. Everyone begins in the same place and every NPC villager will say the same thing: to get out of here, you have to go through the caves. They’ll shove a stick at you (“take this, it’s dangerous to go alone”) and off you go, into the caves… !
Which are full of tiny rats and more chickens. They will try to fight you, but it’s really not very effective when they’re perfectly small and average (especially when everyone still has their typical powers and abilities -- CERES didn't mess with those at all this time). The caves are winding and circular and maze-like, and to make matters even worse, the only ones around are the other poor saps stuck in this situation.
But if you kill enough of the rats, you’ll get to hear the satisfying level up jingle. Congratulations! You are now level 2. It's probably satisfying just for a minute or so until you finally find your way out of those maze like caves and -- You're back in the village again. Great.
PHASE II [ 930 ] You’re carrying a bag. No matter what you do, you can’t take it off, either; it’s stuck with you through thick and thin. But it is awfully heavy. Maybe you should actually open it and see what’s inside?
The problem is, it’s going to take a while.
The bag has clearly tapped into its true hammerspace nature; there are items for days in there, and they’re all very, very strange. You might end up covered in hats of all sorts, buried in logs as you pull out one after another, or look like you have an odd fetish for pickaxes.
Maybe there’s 1/3rd of an evil turnip, half a piece of pie and an egg.
Geez, what in the world are you supposed to do with all of that?
PHASE III [ 1200 ] Eventually, you make it out of the caves the right way despite the harassment of the rats and chickens and the fact you'll keep perpetually getting lost. Hooray! You come out into a large, peaceful, scenic meadow, with a small river bubbling off to one side, and a house.
You'll immediately notice that there’s a bridge to cross the river, but there’s someone standing in the way of that bridge. When you approach to go past him, no matter what you try to do, you won't be able to. Asking him why he won't move will only get one thing in response -- “Bring me a fish. Cooked.”
Then he’ll shove a fishing rod at you and expect you to get to it. You can’t attack him, you can’t get past him -- looks like the only thing to do is to catch and cook that fish. Time to sit back, relax, and get to work. Or maybe you’ll team up with someone else and be the person in the house making sure that the fish gets cooked properly. For some reason, if you leave it too long it turns right into a pile of ashes.
Weirdly though, no matter how good you are at cooking or fishing usually, it’s as if you’re right back at the metaphorical level one. Any sort of seasoning or effort to cook it faster falls flat and in the end you'll only be able to place the fish in the pan and set it on the stove, whole. This may take awhile.
And if you try to cross the river itself, well... no, really, don’t try to cross the river.
At least if you get eaten, you’ll just respawn back in the village, but do have fun traveling through the caves again!
PHASE IV [ 1430 ] You made it through the caves. You made it across the river (with a slightly burnt fish). You’ve made it to the wide open world, and you can finally adventure to your heart’s content. You take a step forward on the road and --
A message pops up, bright red and in your face.
[ Restricted Area: Members Only ]
No matter what you do, you can’t go past that point. In fact, if you’re not careful and you’re going too fast, you might run face-first into it like it’s an invisible wall (which it is).
Then, just like that, you're back in the village. Again. Only this time, there's a nice, blinking message -- Pay a small subscription fee to access member's content. Oh well. No big deal, you can just start again.
Except then you see a cool sword and when you try to pick it up, you'll get that same message, and end up transported back to the village yet again. And again, with some shiny new armor. And again, with that attention-grabbing NPC over there. Looks like you're caught in an infinite loop here but no matter how much you inspect the pop up, there's no... actual way to pay the subscription fee (and why would you want to?). But at least you have company, because you can't be the only person who thought that sword was cool.
(It was really, really cool.)
BONUS [ xxxx ] What’s that on the ground in front of you? It looks like… some bunny ears? Or maybe it’s a chicken head, or a pumpkin head. Either way, the moment you touch it, you have a strong need to put it on your head -- and once it’s on, it’s not coming off.
To make matters worse, each hat has an effect associated with it; the bunny ears will, in fact, randomly turn you into a cute fluffy bunny for anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour before you pop right back to yourself, whereas the pumpkin hat will, in a complete reversal, turn you into Cinderella for a bit -- complete with beautiful ball gown and the ability to talk to all of those cute fluffy bunnies.
Also the rats will love you, so maybe you should go back to the caves again.
Meanwhile, the chicken hat won't transform you into any odd creature, but it will inspire in the people wearing them a very real, persistent desire to build a nest. This will involve picking up twigs, trash, shiny things and whatever else catches your eye to try to build a nest out of it. You'll also try to pick up whatever food you find on the ground to eat, have the weirdest desire to lay an egg, and basically have all sorts of odd chicken-like instincts inflicted upon you.
At least you look festive!
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Bonus
...Were you a person too? [She hasn't seen any other bunnies that haven't been people who'd put one of those dumb ears on. She crouches down, balancing the stick on her knees, and reaches a hand out]
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He does have some pride, so he tries to look as tough as a small rabbit can look, patting her open hand with his paw as if he's trying to shake it.
Hello, I'm Tony Stark, and I've been turned into a furball.]
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I guess so.
[She could probably use her powers to read his mind or memories or something to get his name, but that'd be rude and she'd like to pretend to be normal for a little bit. Or as normal as one can be when talking to a tiny fluffball.]
It shouldn't last long, I think. I was stuck for only a few minutes. [She glances around at the chickens, picking her stick up to swat them back before they can get too close] I'll keep them back. Do you want me to, er... Carry you somewhere safer? [Maybe if she tries to forget this bunny is a person (she doesn't even know if they're a guy or a girl) it won't be so awkward.]
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At the offer, Tony hops excitedly around her feet, losing his balance and rolling on the ground when he tries to stop too suddenly. Bunny reflexes still need some fine-tuning. But the answer, by his reaction, is yes.]
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There's a soft noise from Yuri as he falls and another hint of a smile (this girl seriously looks sad 24/7, but who with a soul doesn't smile at a little bunny flopping all over the place?)]
Alright, alright. Be careful. [She gently picks him up and cradles him in her arms, standing slowly so as not to jostle him too badly.]
My name is Yuri, by the way. Not that you really need to remember it... [She scratches at his ears and glances around, heading to one of the NPC houses.] It's a game, so it's not really breaking in, right...? [She mumbles it more to herself than to Tony and nudges the door open with her foot to step inside the weirdly modern interior. Hopefully they'll be safe from chickens in here.]
Are you hungry? Maybe there are carrots around here.
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Stupid bunny form. He can't even introduce himself. Well, with his luck, she'll probably just call him some silly nickname. He earned it after picking up those ears. And he has no objections to breaking into the NPC houses. They aren't even real, so they can't complain. He doesn't know whether to be amused or insulted that she thinks he would eat carrots, though. Tony hangs his front paws over Yuri's arm, trying to get a better look at the house they are invading like a curious kid.]
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They didn't really try to be very authentic, I guess. [She feels compelled to speak out loud a little, if only because she's aware the bunny in her arms is, in fact, a person, and just wandering around silently would be awkward.
She hunts for carrots first and manages to find about 6 large ones (and like 20 big cheese wheels in a basket? Why??). Those'll get set on the table, with Tony to follow.]
I don't really know what rabbits eat, but even if you were a person it probably isn't a good idea to just eat anything in case it makes you sick.
[As an afterthought she grabs a little bowl to fill with water too for him and takes a seat at the table. Enjoy your...lunch?? Dinner? What time is it even. It seems to be perpetually noon or something outside but who actually knows.]
Should I cut it up, or can you handle it...?
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Once he placed down on the table with the carrots, which are taller than he is, Tony watches Yuri from his spot. He hops over to the water bowl when she sets it down for him and ends up with half of his body in it, scrambling back with a tiny sputter and a chorus of rabbit coughs. He retreats with the remains of his dignity to the carrots, sulkily nibbling on the end of one--
--which is the point when the transformation wears off. The cute little bunny vanishes, leaving in its place a man in full plate armor, sitting on the table with beard dripping wet, holding a helmet in one hand while a carrot sticks out of his mouth. At least, until he drops it, along with the last bit of dignity he had.]
Uh. Hi. Don't be alarmed? [Very smooth, Stark.]
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At least, until the rabbit suddenly becomes a man.
Look, she was expecting this at some point, but nothing really prepares you for that. So Yuri leaps back with a gasp of surprise, the chair clattering to the floor in her haste.]
You're... a man. [Smooth.] That's not what I meant to say. [Well sort of. Okay, she's more than a little surprised that the tiniest, floofiest bunny rabbit turned out to be a full-grown man but alright. Her eyes drop to the carrot he dropped and then back up.
Suddenly she realizes he said hi and she offers back a belated:] Hello.
[Nailed... it.........]
Should I look for a towel?