PHASE I [ 9 00 ] You open your eyes, and there is a chicken pecking at your face. It's not a very happy chicken, either, but if you can manage to fend it off, then it will be clear that you are in a village. It is... medieval-esque, in that video game sort of way; the details don’t seem too clear, but if you look to your left, there’s a cow! And to your right, a well! Ignore the clear evidence of modern technology in the buildings such as lights, gas, and 21st century plumbing; CERES is dedicated to authenticity.
Looks like the new ViViD level has finally been released, and everyone is invited to play, whether they want to or not.
The game (because this time, that's surely what it is) will start simple. Everyone begins in the same place and every NPC villager will say the same thing: to get out of here, you have to go through the caves. They’ll shove a stick at you (“take this, it’s dangerous to go alone”) and off you go, into the caves… !
Which are full of tiny rats and more chickens. They will try to fight you, but it’s really not very effective when they’re perfectly small and average (especially when everyone still has their typical powers and abilities -- CERES didn't mess with those at all this time). The caves are winding and circular and maze-like, and to make matters even worse, the only ones around are the other poor saps stuck in this situation.
But if you kill enough of the rats, you’ll get to hear the satisfying level up jingle. Congratulations! You are now level 2. It's probably satisfying just for a minute or so until you finally find your way out of those maze like caves and -- You're back in the village again. Great.
PHASE II [ 930 ] You’re carrying a bag. No matter what you do, you can’t take it off, either; it’s stuck with you through thick and thin. But it is awfully heavy. Maybe you should actually open it and see what’s inside?
The problem is, it’s going to take a while.
The bag has clearly tapped into its true hammerspace nature; there are items for days in there, and they’re all very, very strange. You might end up covered in hats of all sorts, buried in logs as you pull out one after another, or look like you have an odd fetish for pickaxes.
Maybe there’s 1/3rd of an evil turnip, half a piece of pie and an egg.
Geez, what in the world are you supposed to do with all of that?
PHASE III [ 1200 ] Eventually, you make it out of the caves the right way despite the harassment of the rats and chickens and the fact you'll keep perpetually getting lost. Hooray! You come out into a large, peaceful, scenic meadow, with a small river bubbling off to one side, and a house.
You'll immediately notice that there’s a bridge to cross the river, but there’s someone standing in the way of that bridge. When you approach to go past him, no matter what you try to do, you won't be able to. Asking him why he won't move will only get one thing in response -- “Bring me a fish. Cooked.”
Then he’ll shove a fishing rod at you and expect you to get to it. You can’t attack him, you can’t get past him -- looks like the only thing to do is to catch and cook that fish. Time to sit back, relax, and get to work. Or maybe you’ll team up with someone else and be the person in the house making sure that the fish gets cooked properly. For some reason, if you leave it too long it turns right into a pile of ashes.
Weirdly though, no matter how good you are at cooking or fishing usually, it’s as if you’re right back at the metaphorical level one. Any sort of seasoning or effort to cook it faster falls flat and in the end you'll only be able to place the fish in the pan and set it on the stove, whole. This may take awhile.
And if you try to cross the river itself, well... no, really, don’t try to cross the river.
At least if you get eaten, you’ll just respawn back in the village, but do have fun traveling through the caves again!
PHASE IV [ 1430 ] You made it through the caves. You made it across the river (with a slightly burnt fish). You’ve made it to the wide open world, and you can finally adventure to your heart’s content. You take a step forward on the road and --
A message pops up, bright red and in your face.
[ Restricted Area: Members Only ]
No matter what you do, you can’t go past that point. In fact, if you’re not careful and you’re going too fast, you might run face-first into it like it’s an invisible wall (which it is).
Then, just like that, you're back in the village. Again. Only this time, there's a nice, blinking message -- Pay a small subscription fee to access member's content. Oh well. No big deal, you can just start again.
Except then you see a cool sword and when you try to pick it up, you'll get that same message, and end up transported back to the village yet again. And again, with some shiny new armor. And again, with that attention-grabbing NPC over there. Looks like you're caught in an infinite loop here but no matter how much you inspect the pop up, there's no... actual way to pay the subscription fee (and why would you want to?). But at least you have company, because you can't be the only person who thought that sword was cool.
(It was really, really cool.)
BONUS [ xxxx ] What’s that on the ground in front of you? It looks like… some bunny ears? Or maybe it’s a chicken head, or a pumpkin head. Either way, the moment you touch it, you have a strong need to put it on your head -- and once it’s on, it’s not coming off.
To make matters worse, each hat has an effect associated with it; the bunny ears will, in fact, randomly turn you into a cute fluffy bunny for anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour before you pop right back to yourself, whereas the pumpkin hat will, in a complete reversal, turn you into Cinderella for a bit -- complete with beautiful ball gown and the ability to talk to all of those cute fluffy bunnies.
Also the rats will love you, so maybe you should go back to the caves again.
Meanwhile, the chicken hat won't transform you into any odd creature, but it will inspire in the people wearing them a very real, persistent desire to build a nest. This will involve picking up twigs, trash, shiny things and whatever else catches your eye to try to build a nest out of it. You'll also try to pick up whatever food you find on the ground to eat, have the weirdest desire to lay an egg, and basically have all sorts of odd chicken-like instincts inflicted upon you.
At least you look festive!
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Tony Stark | Marvel 616 | ota
[Tony is absolutely a geek at heart. True, he hasn't actually played many games for a while, but now that he has the chance he should take it, right? And this one is even virtual, which has the added bonus of being tech-related. It couldn't possibly go wrong!
Okay, so maybe it went a little wrong. He's standing in the caves, surrounded by a herd of virtual rats and chickens. They've all banded together, converging around him because... well, they're pretty harmless. He's not sure he wants to bludgeon them with a stick even if they aren't real.]
Uh.
[Iron Man has never participated in chicken soccer. And as a long-term hero in another world, beating up tiny rats doesn't quite hold up to punching dragons.]
Are you guys going to keep coming? Because I'd like to see what the rest of this place is like and-
[He pokes one of the bolder rats with the end of his stick.
Squeak.]
Yeah... This just feels unfair. Can I call you Tim?
Phase II
[Back in the village for the third--no, fourth--time. Trekking through the cave maze at least leveled him up, but he can't seem to get very far. So now Tony is sitting on the ground instead, emptying his inventory in piles around him. Maybe some people stumbled across cool items, but he gathered a veritable truckload of feathers and even a few eggs. Each time he tries to empty the bag, he comes up with yet more of them. Is there even a cooking option for these things?]
I guess I should have paid more attention to how much I was holding.
[Tony realizes he's running out of places to set his junk and knocks a pile out of the way--and right into whoever happens to be passing by. It's raining useless trinkets. Hopefully the ones from that pile weren't too big. Was that a stray boot?]
Phase III
[On the upside, cooking in the game is a whole lot simpler. On the downside, the virtual nature of the game has done nothing for Tony's cooking. He did manage to catch some fish at least, but every time he places on on the pan it ends up a pile of ashes. Every time.]
You've got to be kidding me.
[Tony is standing outside, dumping out his latest failure and looking disgusted by this quest.]
You know what? Forget it. I just want to cross the river, so, uh, yeah. Good luck to you.
[He's apparently going to take matters into his own hands and just attempt to swim across. Maybe someone should stop him?]
Bonus
[And then there was a tiny, fluffy Tony. Hello, random new friend, have a rabbit that is trying to hide behind the nearest person to avoid the animals now much more his size. He doesn't have any weapons, but he is doing his best to use other players as cover until the effects of his new find wear off. Whenever that is. Be a hero and help him out? He's cute.]
III
In the end, his inner good guy wins.]
Isn't the computer going to consider that, eh, cheating?
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[Tony answers the question without looking back by impulse then starts backtracking as his common sense catches up with him. Yes. Yes, it probably will consider it cheating. There usually are rules to quests like these. But Tony is trying to play it all off.]
Look, I don't know what level you have to be to actually give that guy his fish, but I am running out of fish and I'm pretty sure whatever level it is, I'm nowhere close. What's the worst that could happen?
[He's standing just at the edge of the river now, at least hesitating thanks to Dave's warning.]
You think I'll hit a wall? Hey, at least then we'll know.
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Ooooh, you'll definitely hit something.
[He grabs one of the fish he's caught so far (basic creatures like the rats, he suspects he needs a rarer one) and after a second of concentration, the little guy floats away from his fingers to hover above the river.
Dave counts under his breath-- three, two, one... SPLASH. The giant fish boss jumps out of the river and eats the floating snack before going back under water. And Dave just turns to Tony with a "there you go" expression on his face.]
I'm nooot sure about worst but that's close enough. I think.
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Cooking is stupid.]
It's fine. I can handle one little river. It's not even that far to the other side-
[Tony's bravado is interrupted by the big fish emerging to grab the little fish that was left for it. He had one foot in the water, which he immediately draws back from with an ungraceful splash and a defensive leap.]
OHhh... All right. So they put another fish in the way.
[He shrugs off the surprise, trying to hide his retreat with a joke.]
If we cook that, do you think the guy will let us cross?
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That question though...]
You wanna go for a boss fight? [He considers it while observing the river for a moment before he stands up, finally dropping the rod.] It could work. What, ah, what class did you choose?
[Because random parties don't always work so well...]
I because this must happen. Heroes meeting over dead rats
Moving through the cave playing stomp-a-rat though, ultimately led him deeper in, and resulted in a sudden and surprising dearth of the tiny creatures to squish. Where were they going?
And why did he have a strange feeling that something odd was about to happen?
When he rounded a corner it all became clear though. He froze, eyes going suddenly very wide as he caught wind of a voice, and a familiar suit of red and gold, along with all the rats he'd been wondering about for about...five seconds.]
ANTHONY?!
[Cue a very loud boom of laughter that shook the walls of the chamber...]
Anthony Stark, is that you?!
Another slightly embarrassing story to pass on
It's not what it- [He didn't even finish that attempt at saving face.] Hey.
I guess you've been... hunting? Can we call this hunting?
[Tony knew he was going to be teased for his new collection, but he felt bad for them. The ViViD could at least have given them beginner creatures that looked meaner.]
They're kind of cute.
these things happen.
Hunting? Nay, friend. Merely exploring this idiotic game that I have once again found myself trapped in.
[Herc seemed in good enough humor, his eyes focused somewhat absently on their furry companions. Bending, he scooped up one in a mighty paw. It chittered angrily and tried biting, to no avail.
No teasing yet, but it would come. Hercules was more interested in the man before him than the rodents.]
But I suppose you have a point. They're a little cute. Just a little. If perhaps a touch too bitey.
[Reaching out a free hand, Herc offered a shake and a toothy grin of greeting. He and Tony had never always seen eye to eye, but the man was still an Avenger, and a friend.]
It's good to see you, Anthony.
And so often for them. At least they're used to it?
[That was Tony's first thought. So Hercules at least was familiar with the game.]
Good to see you too. I almost thought I was stuck here with the NPCs. They're not exactly the best conversationalists.
[The quip was the only thing he could think of at first. At least he was running into a familiar face that wasn't trying to kill him on sight. Tony lifted the visor of his helmet and gave the other hero a slightly concerned smile. He noticed the stains on the man's shoes, too.]
I think it's trying to to tell you something... I'm pretty sure that last squeak was "Prepare to die."
[He took the offered hand firmly, a bit relieved that he was getting a handshake and wasn't in the rat's position. Did the game have friendly fire?]
Anyway, have you gotten to the end of these caves? Not that I don't like wandering around mazes... Actually, no, I just want to get out of here. You can even have my rats if you help me out. They come with their own level up clip.
of course. what week in 616 is complete without a crazy vr sim gone wrong?
I’ve been in a few of these ‘games’ so far. [He airquotes, of course.] But this is the first one I’ve been in that was so plainly put together like one of Amadeus's role-playing games. A far cry from the last, at least. No monstrous Pac-Man trying to kill us, and no Tetris blocks falling on our heads yet anyway. Most inconvenient, that. [Only Hercules…and maybe Thor…would talk so casually about Retro-gaming gone horribly wrong.
He clapped an arm around the armored shoulder of his fellow hero and waved his arm to encompass the entire swarm of rats that was now beginning to encircle them. A chittering horde hellbent on revenge…but without the levels to scratch either of their defenses. CERES clearly hadn’t thought to program any sort of enrage mechanic. A pity.]
In any event, though, I believe I’ll let you keep your new friends. I’m sure you’ll be able to tame them or something, given that this is simply a virtual reality simulation. Perhaps they could even be reprogrammed to show us the way through the maze, for if there is an ending I have not found it.
[One particularly bold rat, the one Herc had grabbed up, stands up on two legs and starts shaking a paw at the two men.]
Clearly though, they dislike being ignored.
Well, at least this one isn't Hank's.
Thank goodness for small mercies. it's also better than Arcade's i guess.
The universe in which every dangerous situation is at least better than the last one.
Busy day at work...but yes, pretty much. Cerealia: slightly saner than 616 NYC.
Work is always in the way. :c
Indeed.
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i.
[ the speaker in question is a small albino elf with a staff strapped across his back. he literally could not be more perfect for a fantasy video game, honestly-- not that mahanon is aware of that. the only thing he knows is that this vivid simulation is very slightly more like thedas than the colony usually is, which is sort of nice.
still, he flashes tony a brief, friendly smile, amber eyes amused in his face. ] I think they're meant to be beasts that you're meant to defeat.. if I've picked up anything at all about ViViD, at least. [ and since they're all distracted by the human man, mahanon leans back against the cave wall and folds his arms, amusement clear on tattooed features. ] You may want to get on that before they start biting.
<3
[If he could get into the system and had enough time, of course. Eventually, he probably could manage something like that, but that is more bluster than truth. He's actually trying to save face in front of the stranger--who also appears to be an elf.]
But I just named him. [And he isn't sure he knows which rat was the one he named now. They all look the same. He takes the amusement in stride, though. It's nice to have another real person there.]
Shouldn't you be defending them against me? I'm like a hundred times their size. And they aren't armed. We should get them little mouse swords.
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[ he's pretty clearly trying to hide a smile, though. honestly, he's a little charmed despite himself. this human reminds him a little of dorian (maybe it's the facial hair or the commentary), and though it makes him miss his lover even more than usual, it also endears this stranger to him surprisingly quickly.
his brows arch over his eyes, the quirk of his mouth a little teasing. ] They seem to be doing okay for themselves without swords to stick you with. [ he nods in the direction of the exit. ] So, are you coming, or are you going to name the others?
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[Lies. Even if he somehow managed to modify the rat to accept an AI personality, it wouldn't be the same. He's all bluffs and jokes, but that's because he wasn't sure he was ever going to find a way through the cave. The maze was long, even if it wasn't technically difficult to pass through. These puzzles never appear complicated because the player doesn't see the numbers.]
I'm just trying to be fair- Oh, right!
[So much for playing it cool. He is startled into action by the suggestion of being left behind, moving toward the direction the elf motioned toward with an awkward hop.]
Tony Stark, by the way. I mean, if we're doing introductions.
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Bonus
...Were you a person too? [She hasn't seen any other bunnies that haven't been people who'd put one of those dumb ears on. She crouches down, balancing the stick on her knees, and reaches a hand out]
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He does have some pride, so he tries to look as tough as a small rabbit can look, patting her open hand with his paw as if he's trying to shake it.
Hello, I'm Tony Stark, and I've been turned into a furball.]
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I guess so.
[She could probably use her powers to read his mind or memories or something to get his name, but that'd be rude and she'd like to pretend to be normal for a little bit. Or as normal as one can be when talking to a tiny fluffball.]
It shouldn't last long, I think. I was stuck for only a few minutes. [She glances around at the chickens, picking her stick up to swat them back before they can get too close] I'll keep them back. Do you want me to, er... Carry you somewhere safer? [Maybe if she tries to forget this bunny is a person (she doesn't even know if they're a guy or a girl) it won't be so awkward.]
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At the offer, Tony hops excitedly around her feet, losing his balance and rolling on the ground when he tries to stop too suddenly. Bunny reflexes still need some fine-tuning. But the answer, by his reaction, is yes.]
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bonus
[ WHAT AN ADORABLE RABBIT. hawke can be fond of adorable things sometimes so when there's a rabbit clinging to the edge of her boot, she crouches down to inspect it. she'll hold out a gloved hand for it to hop into her palm if it'd like. ]
Are you trying not to get eaten? Brutally mauled by one of these demonic chickens? Used as garnish for a piece of cooked fish? Or maybe just not stepped on. A good plan, if I do say so myself.
[ hawke, you're an asshole. ]
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Look, he didn't ask to get turned into a rabbit. This is why he has problems with magic. He thought he was going to be exempt from unfairness since this was a virtual game in his area of choice, but no. No, here he is, stuck as a furball. He tries to climb from her hand up her arm, finding out that, despite having strong legs, rabbits aren't actually the best climbers.]
III - nope I can't resist
[ Not unless he wants to find out what it's like for fish to have human breath. Not that Flashpoint wants to know what either is like; she's had a close enough encounter with fish/robot variety thank you very much!
She's hunkered down against the rear of the little house, balefully staring at the river like it's a thing of great offense. Which it fraggin' is! Especially judging but the gouges and scrapes across her plating and the gradual seep of glowy pink energon from where the damage reaches deepest. She's even missing half her spoiler!
Yeah, Flashpoint looks a little like she's clawed her way out of a shark's mouth, a shark big enough to try and swallow a 17 ft robot. But she is not, however, sulking! Just for the record. The hunch of those spaulders and the surly expression is just her thinking face. Probably not happy thoughts. ]
Unless you wanna experience uncomfortable amounts of role reversal.
[ UNCOMFORTABLE AMOUNTS. ]
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I'm marking this down as one of the top ten things I didn't actually expect to find in a fantasy game.
[He has to say that flippantly. Otherwise, he might reveal how startled he was by her.]
So you tried to go swimming? [He looks back over his shoulder at the water, which looks completely calm.] And you made a new friend. Figures.
[Tony moves toward Flashpoint, taking damage readings (even though it's questionable what good that will do) and folds his arms.]
At least you survived.
BTW is Tony in his suit?
[Fantasy genre: not really her jam. Stealth ops though? Totally! Especially when nursing a battered ego after getting owned by a giant fish. She's not about to let some other poor sod make the same mistake though.]
It's deeper than it looks. And friendlier. If by friendly you count swallowing whole as some aquatic version aggressively of affectionate hugs.
[Her own dry commentary has to hide the fact that yeah: she didn't come out unscathed. Flashpoint probably has her size and melee skills to thank for that. Her heavy armor took the brunt of it in most places, certainly uncomfortable and gnarly to look at, but the internals are still safe enough. Except that gash in her mid-section, where there's more articulation and the armor is not as dense. Bright energon--clearly an energy source--seeps down her side and the area is warm, nanite auto-repair active as it tries to seal the fuel lines. Hers has always been glitchy though; her altmode for a welding torch and some patch tape.]
Heh. Should see the other guy. He's way uglier now.
[Okay. So she poked him in the eye and ran, shut up!]
Yup, he is! Sorry about being slow.
You look like you could use some help.
[He seems to decide that as he says it, noticing that the repair job isn't going quite as well as it could. Call it his engineer instincts, but she must have been sitting there for a few minutes at least. The progress should be further along.]
So swimming isn't an option. At least, not without a fight. Maybe we can fight our way past.
[That would count as an alternate route, right? Tony thinks it should.]
No worries, happens to us all!
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