PHASE I [ 9 00 ] You open your eyes, and there is a chicken pecking at your face. It's not a very happy chicken, either, but if you can manage to fend it off, then it will be clear that you are in a village. It is... medieval-esque, in that video game sort of way; the details don’t seem too clear, but if you look to your left, there’s a cow! And to your right, a well! Ignore the clear evidence of modern technology in the buildings such as lights, gas, and 21st century plumbing; CERES is dedicated to authenticity.
Looks like the new ViViD level has finally been released, and everyone is invited to play, whether they want to or not.
The game (because this time, that's surely what it is) will start simple. Everyone begins in the same place and every NPC villager will say the same thing: to get out of here, you have to go through the caves. They’ll shove a stick at you (“take this, it’s dangerous to go alone”) and off you go, into the caves… !
Which are full of tiny rats and more chickens. They will try to fight you, but it’s really not very effective when they’re perfectly small and average (especially when everyone still has their typical powers and abilities -- CERES didn't mess with those at all this time). The caves are winding and circular and maze-like, and to make matters even worse, the only ones around are the other poor saps stuck in this situation.
But if you kill enough of the rats, you’ll get to hear the satisfying level up jingle. Congratulations! You are now level 2. It's probably satisfying just for a minute or so until you finally find your way out of those maze like caves and -- You're back in the village again. Great.
PHASE II [ 930 ] You’re carrying a bag. No matter what you do, you can’t take it off, either; it’s stuck with you through thick and thin. But it is awfully heavy. Maybe you should actually open it and see what’s inside?
The problem is, it’s going to take a while.
The bag has clearly tapped into its true hammerspace nature; there are items for days in there, and they’re all very, very strange. You might end up covered in hats of all sorts, buried in logs as you pull out one after another, or look like you have an odd fetish for pickaxes.
Maybe there’s 1/3rd of an evil turnip, half a piece of pie and an egg.
Geez, what in the world are you supposed to do with all of that?
PHASE III [ 1200 ] Eventually, you make it out of the caves the right way despite the harassment of the rats and chickens and the fact you'll keep perpetually getting lost. Hooray! You come out into a large, peaceful, scenic meadow, with a small river bubbling off to one side, and a house.
You'll immediately notice that there’s a bridge to cross the river, but there’s someone standing in the way of that bridge. When you approach to go past him, no matter what you try to do, you won't be able to. Asking him why he won't move will only get one thing in response -- “Bring me a fish. Cooked.”
Then he’ll shove a fishing rod at you and expect you to get to it. You can’t attack him, you can’t get past him -- looks like the only thing to do is to catch and cook that fish. Time to sit back, relax, and get to work. Or maybe you’ll team up with someone else and be the person in the house making sure that the fish gets cooked properly. For some reason, if you leave it too long it turns right into a pile of ashes.
Weirdly though, no matter how good you are at cooking or fishing usually, it’s as if you’re right back at the metaphorical level one. Any sort of seasoning or effort to cook it faster falls flat and in the end you'll only be able to place the fish in the pan and set it on the stove, whole. This may take awhile.
And if you try to cross the river itself, well... no, really, don’t try to cross the river.
At least if you get eaten, you’ll just respawn back in the village, but do have fun traveling through the caves again!
PHASE IV [ 1430 ] You made it through the caves. You made it across the river (with a slightly burnt fish). You’ve made it to the wide open world, and you can finally adventure to your heart’s content. You take a step forward on the road and --
A message pops up, bright red and in your face.
[ Restricted Area: Members Only ]
No matter what you do, you can’t go past that point. In fact, if you’re not careful and you’re going too fast, you might run face-first into it like it’s an invisible wall (which it is).
Then, just like that, you're back in the village. Again. Only this time, there's a nice, blinking message -- Pay a small subscription fee to access member's content. Oh well. No big deal, you can just start again.
Except then you see a cool sword and when you try to pick it up, you'll get that same message, and end up transported back to the village yet again. And again, with some shiny new armor. And again, with that attention-grabbing NPC over there. Looks like you're caught in an infinite loop here but no matter how much you inspect the pop up, there's no... actual way to pay the subscription fee (and why would you want to?). But at least you have company, because you can't be the only person who thought that sword was cool.
(It was really, really cool.)
BONUS [ xxxx ] What’s that on the ground in front of you? It looks like… some bunny ears? Or maybe it’s a chicken head, or a pumpkin head. Either way, the moment you touch it, you have a strong need to put it on your head -- and once it’s on, it’s not coming off.
To make matters worse, each hat has an effect associated with it; the bunny ears will, in fact, randomly turn you into a cute fluffy bunny for anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour before you pop right back to yourself, whereas the pumpkin hat will, in a complete reversal, turn you into Cinderella for a bit -- complete with beautiful ball gown and the ability to talk to all of those cute fluffy bunnies.
Also the rats will love you, so maybe you should go back to the caves again.
Meanwhile, the chicken hat won't transform you into any odd creature, but it will inspire in the people wearing them a very real, persistent desire to build a nest. This will involve picking up twigs, trash, shiny things and whatever else catches your eye to try to build a nest out of it. You'll also try to pick up whatever food you find on the ground to eat, have the weirdest desire to lay an egg, and basically have all sorts of odd chicken-like instincts inflicted upon you.
At least you look festive!
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Mako | Legend of Korra
[There was a lot to keep track of. Not on a "I have so many things to do, and there's no way I'll ever remember them all" level, but more like he had no clue what was going on. Small animals attacking him aside, he had no clue where he was. And "the caves" and all... well, he had no clue what that was about.
The random noise (and stronger firebending? what was up with that) after he'd gotten rid of enough of the random animals just added to the surrealness of it.]
Excuse me.
[he looks a little annoyed, and he's hoping that this new person didn't keep saying the same thing over and over again.]
Phase II
[when did he pick up a heavy back? Mako legitimately can't recall-- and every time he tried to take it off, it felt even more burdensomely heavy. Opening it wasn't helping, either.
Novigrad Mace. Elfroot. Level 12 Scout Armor. Elfroot. Approximately 50 potions, random notes and books (all part of the "Codex"). Elfroot. Silver, platinum, ethers. Elfroot.
How did he even know what half this stuff was? Unfortunately, he'd managed to create quite a pile next to himself. Alas.]
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Where did you even get that?
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From in there. It's not even empty, yet.
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[ going to try and peer into the bag ]
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I hadn't noticed, bro.
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[ not really asking mako but just asking the question out loud in general so that maybe an answer might come from the heavens and grace them with it's presence.
but if mako has an answer, he's welcome to give it too ]
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[he gives another tug on the strap, before 100% giving up. Not worth it. Not anymore, anyway.]
Phase I
Yes? [The voice wasn't familiar, but she didn't mind. Even the kindness of a random stranger was always welcome so long as it was genuine. And, really, someone just as lost as she would be a small comfort.] What can I do for you?
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I'm... new. To this whole "digital" thing. [if he was really bothered by it, he had it on lockdown for the moment.]
And... I don't really get what we're supposed to be doing here.
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[Oh, thank goodness. Somebody who sounded even more bewildered by everything than she.]
[...no, that was awful to think. Already, Iris was mentally berating herself. She shouldn't be relieved at the expense of someone else. That was always more of Dahlia's style.]
Actually, I'm fairly new myself. [An honest admission. There was no point in lying.] But...if I were to guess, I think we need to find out way to the exit. The caves must be some sort of underground maze.
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I'm guessing they didn't tell you why we were suddenly here. [He could hold out hope that he was wrong-- and at least she actually answered his question instead of giving some canned line over and over again.]
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No. I'm sorry.
They told me something about a rescue mission, but I don't recall all the details.
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Thanks. I'm Mako. You mind working together while we're in here?
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Of course not. If I can be of any help, I'd like to be.
I'm Iris.
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[he nodded at her statement-- and then asked the obvious question. Maybe he could get by without his little brother for a bit.]
Are you a bender? An earthbender, maybe?
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Phase I
Phoenix then quickly puts the stick down on his side and turns to face him with a sheepish smile.]
Yes? Um, what's the matter?
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Seeming, anyway.]
You're-- not going to give me some canned phrase, right?
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Phoenix tries to reply light-heartedly.]
Right now? I don't even have any canned food to give. [A beat, in which one can catch the instant in which Phoenix feels embarrassed by his own joke.]
Seriously, I'm a real person. What's up?
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What's the point of all... this?
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Well... um, you're young. You have to know about video games. It's like that, but we're in it?
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...It's like we're inside a fake version of the world made to be like a game?
II
That's a lot of supplies you've got there, Mako. Don't tell me you're going somewhere without the rest of us?
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He immediately looks up, and whatever frustration he was feeling with the bag melted off of his face.]
Korra! [his posture straightened somewhat, allowing the things he'd pulled out to fall even further with a 'clang.']
I didn't know you were here.
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[Totally discarding the casual, teasing tone now and going in for a tight hug that Mako's not going to wiggle out of. After Sokka went missing, Korra's tried not to feel too down about being the only one from her world again. Seeing Mako here is something she definitely needed.]
It's really good to see you.