PHASE I [ 9 00 ] You open your eyes, and there is a chicken pecking at your face. It's not a very happy chicken, either, but if you can manage to fend it off, then it will be clear that you are in a village. It is... medieval-esque, in that video game sort of way; the details don’t seem too clear, but if you look to your left, there’s a cow! And to your right, a well! Ignore the clear evidence of modern technology in the buildings such as lights, gas, and 21st century plumbing; CERES is dedicated to authenticity.
Looks like the new ViViD level has finally been released, and everyone is invited to play, whether they want to or not.
The game (because this time, that's surely what it is) will start simple. Everyone begins in the same place and every NPC villager will say the same thing: to get out of here, you have to go through the caves. They’ll shove a stick at you (“take this, it’s dangerous to go alone”) and off you go, into the caves… !
Which are full of tiny rats and more chickens. They will try to fight you, but it’s really not very effective when they’re perfectly small and average (especially when everyone still has their typical powers and abilities -- CERES didn't mess with those at all this time). The caves are winding and circular and maze-like, and to make matters even worse, the only ones around are the other poor saps stuck in this situation.
But if you kill enough of the rats, you’ll get to hear the satisfying level up jingle. Congratulations! You are now level 2. It's probably satisfying just for a minute or so until you finally find your way out of those maze like caves and -- You're back in the village again. Great.
PHASE II [ 930 ] You’re carrying a bag. No matter what you do, you can’t take it off, either; it’s stuck with you through thick and thin. But it is awfully heavy. Maybe you should actually open it and see what’s inside?
The problem is, it’s going to take a while.
The bag has clearly tapped into its true hammerspace nature; there are items for days in there, and they’re all very, very strange. You might end up covered in hats of all sorts, buried in logs as you pull out one after another, or look like you have an odd fetish for pickaxes.
Maybe there’s 1/3rd of an evil turnip, half a piece of pie and an egg.
Geez, what in the world are you supposed to do with all of that?
PHASE III [ 1200 ] Eventually, you make it out of the caves the right way despite the harassment of the rats and chickens and the fact you'll keep perpetually getting lost. Hooray! You come out into a large, peaceful, scenic meadow, with a small river bubbling off to one side, and a house.
You'll immediately notice that there’s a bridge to cross the river, but there’s someone standing in the way of that bridge. When you approach to go past him, no matter what you try to do, you won't be able to. Asking him why he won't move will only get one thing in response -- “Bring me a fish. Cooked.”
Then he’ll shove a fishing rod at you and expect you to get to it. You can’t attack him, you can’t get past him -- looks like the only thing to do is to catch and cook that fish. Time to sit back, relax, and get to work. Or maybe you’ll team up with someone else and be the person in the house making sure that the fish gets cooked properly. For some reason, if you leave it too long it turns right into a pile of ashes.
Weirdly though, no matter how good you are at cooking or fishing usually, it’s as if you’re right back at the metaphorical level one. Any sort of seasoning or effort to cook it faster falls flat and in the end you'll only be able to place the fish in the pan and set it on the stove, whole. This may take awhile.
And if you try to cross the river itself, well... no, really, don’t try to cross the river.
At least if you get eaten, you’ll just respawn back in the village, but do have fun traveling through the caves again!
PHASE IV [ 1430 ] You made it through the caves. You made it across the river (with a slightly burnt fish). You’ve made it to the wide open world, and you can finally adventure to your heart’s content. You take a step forward on the road and --
A message pops up, bright red and in your face.
[ Restricted Area: Members Only ]
No matter what you do, you can’t go past that point. In fact, if you’re not careful and you’re going too fast, you might run face-first into it like it’s an invisible wall (which it is).
Then, just like that, you're back in the village. Again. Only this time, there's a nice, blinking message -- Pay a small subscription fee to access member's content. Oh well. No big deal, you can just start again.
Except then you see a cool sword and when you try to pick it up, you'll get that same message, and end up transported back to the village yet again. And again, with some shiny new armor. And again, with that attention-grabbing NPC over there. Looks like you're caught in an infinite loop here but no matter how much you inspect the pop up, there's no... actual way to pay the subscription fee (and why would you want to?). But at least you have company, because you can't be the only person who thought that sword was cool.
(It was really, really cool.)
BONUS [ xxxx ] What’s that on the ground in front of you? It looks like… some bunny ears? Or maybe it’s a chicken head, or a pumpkin head. Either way, the moment you touch it, you have a strong need to put it on your head -- and once it’s on, it’s not coming off.
To make matters worse, each hat has an effect associated with it; the bunny ears will, in fact, randomly turn you into a cute fluffy bunny for anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour before you pop right back to yourself, whereas the pumpkin hat will, in a complete reversal, turn you into Cinderella for a bit -- complete with beautiful ball gown and the ability to talk to all of those cute fluffy bunnies.
Also the rats will love you, so maybe you should go back to the caves again.
Meanwhile, the chicken hat won't transform you into any odd creature, but it will inspire in the people wearing them a very real, persistent desire to build a nest. This will involve picking up twigs, trash, shiny things and whatever else catches your eye to try to build a nest out of it. You'll also try to pick up whatever food you find on the ground to eat, have the weirdest desire to lay an egg, and basically have all sorts of odd chicken-like instincts inflicted upon you.
At least you look festive!
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Chloe Price | Life is Strange
Phase I
[Chloe Price, honest to god, had never punched a chicken. She'd done a lot of stupid shit over the course of her sad, miserable fucking life. But punching a chicken wasn't one of them. And truth be told, she liked it better when the fucking things came in packaging ready to cook and find their way into her stomach. Or something.
Who knows, she was way too fucking high for this. And the sad part was that she didn't think she was high enough.
But, secretly, these weird chickens, and this weird dream/trip/whatever... it kinda felt nice. They weren't real chickens, that would have fucking sucked. But they we like some random enemy and she could kick it as many times as she wanted. Which was basically any time the damn thing got too close.
Chloe, though, didn't care about the caves.]
Hey. Hey you. What the fuck's up with weirdo over there? He keeps saying the same shit over and over. It's hella annoying.
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Seriously, he's not sure anyway. It's beyond him.
He's been skulking around the village looking for another way out of it, though he's pretty sure it's just a matter of waiting it out, like the hospital had been. He's even considering one of the NPC houses, with its locked doors and big glass windows, and the rock in his hand, when the chick kicking the chickens gets his attention.]
You're new, huh? Forget those guys, they ain't real people. It's part of the game or whatever! And they're full of shit anyway, so don't take 'em seriously! I already tried the cave.
[She's got to be new, if she's been lucky enough to not have been shoved into ViViD yet. Pretty cute, too.]
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[the Matrix was way fucking cooler to think about, instead of some lame-o RPG that might as well have been from the 90s. That was how lame it was. She spun the stick in her hand before taking another whack at a dumb chicken. Especially now that they were definitely not real, thanks to the dude with the really bright, really red hair.
Hell, they were like hair yin and yang.
Or something.]
Is the cave full of spooky stuff? Like ghoooooosts?
[she's not taking anything seriously-- as far as she was concerned, she was confirmed for invincible in the Matrix about an hour ago.]
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It's cool. He snorts at the joke, recovering, and leans against the wall of the house he'd just been considering breaking into.]
Not unless you're scared of chickens, but it looks like you got that covered! The programming or whatever's usually way better than this . . . except last time. So I guess they're still fixing stuff, maybe? CERES got kinda trashed with everything else a while ago. Before that, you couldn't even tell the fake stuff from real life.
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She slams the stick into the ground, and it stands up for a moment, though falls at some point during her next statement]
Cool, so stuff breaks when we're basically little computer programs. Like, I bet there's a folder called "Chloe" and "Dude with awesome red hair". [a pause-- then a shudder]
Well, you get what I'm saying.
Chloe, by the way.
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Ah... Some of us have only so many things to say in their lives, Miss! Is it his fault that he was never taught many hip words? That sadly seems to be the way it is with those who live only within ViViD! [AKA, AIs.]
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Okay, Portland? Seattle? Wait, no, fuck, we're at the end of the universe or some shit. Think Matrix.
Dude, are you from fucking San Francisco?!
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Er... I am from Konoha Village. The village hidden in the leaves...
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Whatever.
Nice dress, dude.
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except remind him of orcish.]...pardon? [ All things considered, Kael'thas fits into the fantasy setting pretty well, what with being an elf in bright red robes and all.]
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Wow, you're really getting into the mood for the game, aren't you? What are you supposed to be? Scary elf?
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I am a Sin'dorei, a Blood Elf in your tongue. [ His eyes are a bright, unnatural green, and he glowers at the young girl. Her assumption insults him two-fold: For one, his attire was far from a costume (in his eyes anyway), and two, he was the leader of the Sin'dorei as well.]
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Last I checked, you're speaking English just like I am. Cut the 'your tongue' crap.
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Hhh- I-...
[ The jade mask shifted and ground against the golem's stone neck as he tried to see what she was talking about. Every move Tlaloc made was punctuated with a low rumble. ]
I don't know... Did they tell you about the cavesss too?
[ He held a stone fist up and unfurled it, showing the crumpled little stick he was given. ]
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[she also jumps back and holds that stick for dear life, though she kind of wished she had something a little more substantive]
Holy shit are you talking to me? I didn't even fucking know you could talk!
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I can ssstop if you'd like! I am-...
[ He lowered his hand and let out a completely artificial sigh. It was a little weird given that it didn't look like this monster needed to breathe. ]
After the same goal as you, I think.
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Made perfect sense.]
Okay, but first, what are you? Holy shit, you fucking scared me.
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[ screaming ]
she does know how this works, though. so here's Max, already level 5 by 10 AM holding a sharp holly branch (hey, it had +2 ATK which was better than the near-disposable stick), looking pretty shocked that someone is talking in her general direction without her engaging them first.
she's even more shocked to hear 'hella'. ]
— Chloe? Did you give me a crazy contact high or is this officially the weirdest dream ever?
SHE'S EPISODE 1, let the shenanigans commence
Hell, she could never forget it.]
Max? [why didn't they tell her Max was here? They should have known, right? Weird crazy programming, her entire history probably tucked inside some text file? It didn't take a long ctrl+f to find that.]
What the fuck, you're here too?!
oh my god max is ep4 so this will be great
Oh my God, you don't know how happy I am to see you. I totally thought I died and went to Avalon. [ and, pulling back — ] Chloe, I didn't do this. I don't know.. how the hell we ended up here.
I AM SORRY THIS IS LATE grad school man, grad school
That, or Max really was not taking the end of the world thing well.
She patted her back awkwardly, just as she pulled away]
Uh... What? Max, you're hella good at disappearing but I'm pretty sure that doesn't involve ending the world and capturing "corrupt data" or what the fuck ever they were on about.
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[She looks startled by the sudden approach, looking from Chloe (and that hair! Americans, man) to the NPC in question.] Oh. It's... like a game. [That sounds weird and doesn't clarify anything, does it.
Yuri winces slightly and rubs at the back of her neck self-consciously.] I don't think those people are real. It's like we're in a game-- that's what someone told me. A Virtual Reality game. Except I don't think we can log out.
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And that fucker was getting too close anyway.]
You know, like some next level shit, right?
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I don't know, I don't really... play video games. [It's one of those "this is something normal kids do" that makes her feel awkward to admit she has no idea what's going on here.] We didn't really have that where I lived. [Trying to explain it makes it sound worse so she gives up]
Someone said if we complete the objectives we'll be able to log out and get back to our real bodies. Whatever those objectives are. I guess getting through the caves would be step one?
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[still had some minor anger issues to work out, but overall, she seemed to have a pretty good grasp on the situation. At least enough to be flippant of it, anyway.]
And you're not missing much with video games.
Obviously. [a quick gesture at the area around them]
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