PHASE I [ 9 00 ] You open your eyes, and there is a chicken pecking at your face. It's not a very happy chicken, either, but if you can manage to fend it off, then it will be clear that you are in a village. It is... medieval-esque, in that video game sort of way; the details don’t seem too clear, but if you look to your left, there’s a cow! And to your right, a well! Ignore the clear evidence of modern technology in the buildings such as lights, gas, and 21st century plumbing; CERES is dedicated to authenticity.
Looks like the new ViViD level has finally been released, and everyone is invited to play, whether they want to or not.
The game (because this time, that's surely what it is) will start simple. Everyone begins in the same place and every NPC villager will say the same thing: to get out of here, you have to go through the caves. They’ll shove a stick at you (“take this, it’s dangerous to go alone”) and off you go, into the caves… !
Which are full of tiny rats and more chickens. They will try to fight you, but it’s really not very effective when they’re perfectly small and average (especially when everyone still has their typical powers and abilities -- CERES didn't mess with those at all this time). The caves are winding and circular and maze-like, and to make matters even worse, the only ones around are the other poor saps stuck in this situation.
But if you kill enough of the rats, you’ll get to hear the satisfying level up jingle. Congratulations! You are now level 2. It's probably satisfying just for a minute or so until you finally find your way out of those maze like caves and -- You're back in the village again. Great.
PHASE II [ 930 ] You’re carrying a bag. No matter what you do, you can’t take it off, either; it’s stuck with you through thick and thin. But it is awfully heavy. Maybe you should actually open it and see what’s inside?
The problem is, it’s going to take a while.
The bag has clearly tapped into its true hammerspace nature; there are items for days in there, and they’re all very, very strange. You might end up covered in hats of all sorts, buried in logs as you pull out one after another, or look like you have an odd fetish for pickaxes.
Maybe there’s 1/3rd of an evil turnip, half a piece of pie and an egg.
Geez, what in the world are you supposed to do with all of that?
PHASE III [ 1200 ] Eventually, you make it out of the caves the right way despite the harassment of the rats and chickens and the fact you'll keep perpetually getting lost. Hooray! You come out into a large, peaceful, scenic meadow, with a small river bubbling off to one side, and a house.
You'll immediately notice that there’s a bridge to cross the river, but there’s someone standing in the way of that bridge. When you approach to go past him, no matter what you try to do, you won't be able to. Asking him why he won't move will only get one thing in response -- “Bring me a fish. Cooked.”
Then he’ll shove a fishing rod at you and expect you to get to it. You can’t attack him, you can’t get past him -- looks like the only thing to do is to catch and cook that fish. Time to sit back, relax, and get to work. Or maybe you’ll team up with someone else and be the person in the house making sure that the fish gets cooked properly. For some reason, if you leave it too long it turns right into a pile of ashes.
Weirdly though, no matter how good you are at cooking or fishing usually, it’s as if you’re right back at the metaphorical level one. Any sort of seasoning or effort to cook it faster falls flat and in the end you'll only be able to place the fish in the pan and set it on the stove, whole. This may take awhile.
And if you try to cross the river itself, well... no, really, don’t try to cross the river.
At least if you get eaten, you’ll just respawn back in the village, but do have fun traveling through the caves again!
PHASE IV [ 1430 ] You made it through the caves. You made it across the river (with a slightly burnt fish). You’ve made it to the wide open world, and you can finally adventure to your heart’s content. You take a step forward on the road and --
A message pops up, bright red and in your face.
[ Restricted Area: Members Only ]
No matter what you do, you can’t go past that point. In fact, if you’re not careful and you’re going too fast, you might run face-first into it like it’s an invisible wall (which it is).
Then, just like that, you're back in the village. Again. Only this time, there's a nice, blinking message -- Pay a small subscription fee to access member's content. Oh well. No big deal, you can just start again.
Except then you see a cool sword and when you try to pick it up, you'll get that same message, and end up transported back to the village yet again. And again, with some shiny new armor. And again, with that attention-grabbing NPC over there. Looks like you're caught in an infinite loop here but no matter how much you inspect the pop up, there's no... actual way to pay the subscription fee (and why would you want to?). But at least you have company, because you can't be the only person who thought that sword was cool.
(It was really, really cool.)
BONUS [ xxxx ] What’s that on the ground in front of you? It looks like… some bunny ears? Or maybe it’s a chicken head, or a pumpkin head. Either way, the moment you touch it, you have a strong need to put it on your head -- and once it’s on, it’s not coming off.
To make matters worse, each hat has an effect associated with it; the bunny ears will, in fact, randomly turn you into a cute fluffy bunny for anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour before you pop right back to yourself, whereas the pumpkin hat will, in a complete reversal, turn you into Cinderella for a bit -- complete with beautiful ball gown and the ability to talk to all of those cute fluffy bunnies.
Also the rats will love you, so maybe you should go back to the caves again.
Meanwhile, the chicken hat won't transform you into any odd creature, but it will inspire in the people wearing them a very real, persistent desire to build a nest. This will involve picking up twigs, trash, shiny things and whatever else catches your eye to try to build a nest out of it. You'll also try to pick up whatever food you find on the ground to eat, have the weirdest desire to lay an egg, and basically have all sorts of odd chicken-like instincts inflicted upon you.
At least you look festive!
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Souji Okita | Wasurenagusa | OTA
[Souji's day has not been pleasant at all so far.For starters, he is not good with rude awakenings, or any awakenings really! Waking up to some feathery abomination pecking at his face was not a pleasant experience so the poor chicken ended up being kicked away mercilessly. Normally he loves birds but not when they're pecking at his face and waking him up? And now he's trudging through some cave that keeps going around in circles and he only has some dumb stick the people from the village gave him for 'protection'.]
How long does this have to go on for?
[He's honestly tired of killing small fry? Chicken and rats are no threat for him and well...killing always solves everything. Right? As if on cue more small enemies showed up ready to attack.]
Hah! You guys don't learn do you? Come at m- [ It's interrupted by a large coughing fit.]
S-Shit! Why now?!
[It's getting harder and harder to concentrate on his small enemies as he's coughing up a storm. There's also a splatter of blood. If asked, he'll insist it does not belong to him.He notices that his little fit caught the eyes of someone near. He takes a moment to recompose himself and turns to face them.]
What are you looking at? [He kicks a rat aside. He's fine. Nothing to see here.]
II.
[This bag has been bothering him all day! It's heavy and stuck to him which is irritating especially when he doesn't have his swords on him to just slice it off. Of course Souji lets his curiosity get the better of him and opens it up.]
Jeez...what's even in here?
[He rummages through it only to find a few useless bottles he's not familiar with, some kind of strange candy which also gets tossed to the side, some origami paper,and it's just...a lot of clutter, really! It's hard to keep track of what else spills out and unfortunately while he's throwing things out of this bottomless sack, an inhaler hits the nearest person. Of course what catches his attention is not the sound it made but mainly what's under the newcomer's foot. A very familiar poetry book.]
You should take your foot off of that unless you want some demon after you for stepping on his shitty haikus. [Just saying-]
III.
[No matter what he tried he simply cannot get past that annoying man who wants some stupid cooked fish from him! He can't kill him which is a shame because killing always solves everything? He tried to just cross the river without the stupid bridge but all he ended up with was the experience of getting eaten, the displeasure of being soaking wet, and did he mention he had to start all over again with killing rats in some neverending and confusing cave? FUN.]
I really hate this.
[Do you know what requires a lot of patience? Fishing. Do you also know what Souji is terrible with? Patience. Unfortunately he's now convinced that he has no choice but to bring what the man asks of him. To put it simply he's furious, he hates listening to people that's not Kondo or Hijikata??]
This is ridiculous. Why do I have to be out here wasting my time on something like this?!
[While he's complaining he fails to notice a sharp tug on his fishing rod and down he goes! Unfortunately the fish is continuing this little game of tug o'war and now he's struggling to get back on his feet. Of course he's letting out incoherent curses which the fish surely won't be able to understand.]
UGH!
Not supposed to-
DAMN IT!
A MERE FISH-
[Someone please help this man.]
uGH GIVE ME YOUR TB I.
Why does this feel so familiar? Why does it bother him so? ]
Ah.. are you alright? Will you allow me to help you.. you seem to not be in good health... [ Walking closer as he glances at the blood on the ground and then back up to gaze at the other. ] You should take better care of yourself. Please allow me to assist you for your time here.
[ He's going to pull out his swords if these chickens just don't pop off. NOTHING TO SEE HERE! ]
Closes my eyes ofc you went straight for the TB
I'll be fine. It's just a cold...[He really insists that chicken blood got in his mouth. He didn't cough it up...what are you talking about...]
[However, he does appreciate you trying to scare the chickens away because they're annoying as heck. So onto what he would like to know. Of course he won't go checking Yamato's sock to make sure it didnt say "Hei" on it or anything but]
...Do you know someone named Heisuke? [You can honestly pass for his twin it's insane?]
GIVEME TB I WANT TO DIE UGH which sooj will let me die why do yawl want to live
Huh? Hei.. suke.. ? [ The name sounds familiar, it is familiar and what he does is tilt his head a little unsure. ] Vice Commander Hijikata called me the same thing but I've told him more than once, that it isn't my name. I am Yamatonokami Yasusada. I am a good sword.. I wonder when he'll realize. [ Looking towards the chicken and then back at the other, would they both know the importance of that name together back home? Does the other even know what he's speaking about? He wouldn't ask if he didn't but.. ]
Ah.. haha.. how funny. Do you think.. I'm Heisuke too? Ah.. if you know that name.. and you are ill.. [ It's a name he knows himself but to be questioned if he was Heisuke any by Hijikata no less, Yamato slowly picks up the pieces fasther than shiptrap. ]
... Ah..
STOP TB ISNT FUN ugh why must you do this
After hearing Yamato mention Hijikata, Souji is now convinced that Yamato really is with the Shinsengumi. He even has the haori on?]
Hijikata-san did too? You really do look like him but not identical. I wonder how confusing it would have been if you were in his unit.[Hijikata really must be getting old if he thought Yamato actually was Heisuke.]
If you were Heisuke you'd be freaking out, have "Hei" embroidered on your socks and yelling about this situation. You're obviously not that dork. [Though you're the same height as him?? strange.
Wait a minute. Let's just backtrack for a second, did he just call himself Yamatonokami Yasusada?]
That's funny I could have sworn I heard you say your name is Yamatonokami Yasusada and referred to yourself as a sword?[The same as his own sword that seems to be missing from his side ever since this weird adventure started.]
[Congratulations Yamato. You figured out that this man is in fact Okita Souji! Now we can only hope HE can get this faster than shiptrap too.]
UGH I LOVE TB PLEASE GIVE ILL ASK ALL OF YOU OKITS
Dork..? [ Why does he sound like Kashuu, you really are Okita-kun, aren't you? ]
Excuse me.. Heisuke is a friend of yours.. isn't he.. [ Well. ] .. He's someone important to the.. Shinsengumi.. because you're part of it right? [ A nod of his head as he looks to the other, unsheathing his sword to show to the other. ]
... Does this.. look familiar to you?
you know which phase im replying to you fucker
Except it wasn't mysterious. It was... ... His book? His POETRY book of all things. Hey... Hey, hey... What the fuck. He could've sworn his book was safely at his apartment on his quaint lil' desk safe from the entire world and grabby little hands, but no. No- no no... It's fake right? All this ViViD stuff is fake if he remembers correctly.
But then he hears it.
That familiar voice, all too familiar... ]
... Souji... [ :) Hi! ]
[ Hijikata picks up his book and then crosses his arms. Trust me, Hijikata is VERY relieved a familiar face is here, and Souji is safe but
Hijikata, he has been INSULTED and he's not going to let this pass. ]
What was that? I don't think I heard you.
ugh Hijijii why can't you let me live
You can't hear or something? I said that a demon wou-
[OH.
OH. FUCK.]
HIJIKATA-SAN?! [He can explain...]
because ur a pain in my ass!!!
Hi! Hello! :) 🔪 ]
I've been worried sick, mind you, and this is what I get when you finally managed to show up?
[ SIGH!
But... No really. He was worried half to death honestly, so he honestly can't be that mad seeing Souji after what... Ugh, it's been like a month, right? Who knows.
Also while he's at it he does take a look at his poem book just to make sure it isn't harmed... Ok. Good. ]
Well, Souji? [ He's waiting for that explanation! ]
UGH well I guess I'll just die!!
A worrywort like always huh? [A laugh. He's also idling around with a paper pinwheel he just folded who knows when. Wow Souji way to look like you're paying attention.]
Okay I know this looks like I purposely took that poetry book of your's again but I swear this time it was just in this heavy bag? [Man Hijikata he's tired? This sack is so heavy.
why does your book weigh an ass ton like your...ass?]WHAT THE HECK DONT DIE im tired ugh
Ugh... Souji, this is serious! [ He's so stressed right now, what the heck. Why are you laughing. ]
[ Ugh... Dragging his hand down his face. Souji stop only Hijikata can complain about being tired. Hijikata needs his NAP. ]
This one is fake, I know that because mine is at my house. [ it's kind of weird saying he has an entire place all to himself, now that he actually said it out loud. ] You know, I honestly thought you were dead so take this seriously.
[ A pause. ] You're alright though, aren't you?
[ man it's been a month, he gotta know. ]
You just said you won't let me live and now you won't let me die :||||||
I know. I'm being serious too. [It really was the bag's fault not his!! Ugh stop he's the ill one here-]
What are you talking about? Don't you guys still live in Nishi Honganji? [Sorry Hijikata you're going to have to explain things to him here? He hasn't gone through that fun powerpoint presentation yet.]
I remember saying I was going on a temporary leave. [Did you really just write him off as dead as soon as he left for the hot springs? smfh.
a heavy sigh.]
It's only been a week since I left Hijikata-san. [ah yes, miscommunication the bane of all gumis' existence tbh]
yeah you just cant do either tbh mother's rules
Souji, I've been gone for an entire month.
[ He... Doesn't really understand this but okay. Ugh... If only someone that knew more about this stuff was with him... Kashuu or the other Souji seemed to know their stuff... ]
At least, I think I have... [ Please. Hijikata's still really confused about all this. ]
Either way, you do realize where we are now isn't even real... And it's not back at Nishi Honganji? [ Souji... Can't you at least notice that wtf. ]
well...fuq ur motherly bossom and its rules :\\
It's really hard to take in all this. Of course he'd think it was just some joke but Hijikata and joke in the same sentence is a joke in itself.]
Obviously we're not even in Japan anymore. Just what is going on? [Well of course he noticed it's not Japan anymore?? How the heck was he supposed to now Hijikata was off somewhere else? He last saw him in Nishi Honganji before leaving. smh.]
im going to kick your sick ass
Ahh, geez... How the hell am I suppose to explain this? [ He rubs the back of his head, the frustration in his actions and words are clearly visible. Even if it's been a month it doesn't mean he's an expert on all this. ]
We're in some thing called ViViD and it's not even real... What did they call it- virtual reality. It's apparently real but not... Real? [ Okay. He can't explain it for the life of him. ]
Well, other than that this place gave me some apartment to live in and I've been... Here. I was told I couldn't go back home though.
[ Then, with what Souji said earlier... Oh shit. This literally just hit him. ] Wait a minute... Did I just hear you correctly?
Temporary leave?
[ And... There's medicine all over the ground. Hijikata does remember the coughing and telling Souji to make sure to rest but... ]
... ... Souji. [ u got sum explainin 2 do... ]
STOP THIS AT ONCE ??
How can something be real but not real? That's ridiculous.[Sorry Hijikata but Souji really can't follow what you're saying here? But it's okay...you tried...goldstar.jpg]
I don't really get it but since it's coming from you I have no choice but to take it for what it is. [crappy explanations aside.]
Yes. temporary leave. [suppressing the need to roll his eyes right now] The girl made a big deal over nothing and-
[Wait. If Hijikata was gone for a month like he claims then who was there with Kondo when he asked for temporary leave?
UH OH.]
You and Kondo-san insisted I go to see the doctor. [Okay nice. He's not exactly LYING here.
just leaving out some of the truthYou won't find out about the onsen that easily Hijikata...]*beats yuo up*
ii!
[The very elegant sound that Kashuu makes in response to being whapped upside the head with an inhaler. THANKS SOUJI. That's exactly what he needed to start his day...!
But before he can say anything, he's being scolded for stepping on shit... 1 ViViD point worth of shit. When will Hijikata get a break? He'll raise his foot, at least, bending over to pick the book up with a disgruntled expression.]
How many of these things are lying around here? [Is one not enough!!]
ugh Kashuu tell him all about how these poems are only worth 1 whole point he needs to know
...You mean he actually made more than one? [smfh then why does Hiji always yell at him for taking it?
That's because Souji is a binch]It just spilled out of this bag just like that weird thing that hit you earlier. Oh right. Sorry about that. [Ah yes, a quick and insincere apology]
LOOK HE WOULD IF HE KNEW... rip in pieces hijiji
I've seen another copy, anyway. He got it back from that point return system thing. [One point!! A one point purchase, how sad. Meanwhile Yamato is spending literal millions to get his troops back and one's dead, why is life so cruel.
THIS PUNK, THOUGH.] It's fine, it wasn't super heavy. But you should watch where you toss stuff around, y'know? Even if this is virtual reality, you can still end up hurt.
[Don't take someone's eye out, Souji...]
ugh Im laughing everyone out for Hijijiii's suffering
I wonder if this one's a fake. Knowing who wrote them he'd die of embarrassment if there was more than one copy out there.[
don't get any ideas SoujiOne whole point for one whole book of haiku by "Gem" while a young sword has to spend millions...wow that really is cruel!Yes. A PUNK. A polite one but, nevertheless a PUNK.]
Given by how small it is I would assume the same. I guess you do raise a point about the hitting others thing... [He sounds quite passive about it. He honestly could care less if he hit anyone else passing by lest take their eye out. In fact he'd probably be amused should that happen.]
Hey...what is this virtual reality thing you're going on about? [Souji may be young but he's from the 19th century? You gotta get him up to date on these things.]
HE'S EARNED IT
Who knows? CERES probably has the entire thing saved on a file somewhere so they can print out whatever they want. I mean, I dunno why anyone'd want to circulate twenty copies of "plum blossoms are plum blossoms" or whatever. [A SHRUG. Maybe there are just a bunch of masochistic readers in this metaphoric audience...
BUT WHAT A TRUE PUNK. He'll get along with Yamato, honestly.]
That's where we are right now! [Said in a "duh" tone because duh!! Come on Souji, keep up with the times, stop sitting on your dead ass and move forward GEEZ.] None of this is actually real, see?
phase I UGLY LAUGHTER
Now he listens to the defensive tone in the other's voice and recognizes the feeling behind it, even if his own method of dealing is rather different. Wordlessly at first, he hands over one of the clean cloths he carries around with him, so the other man can whipe the hint of blood from his lips.]
I'm sorry, it's just... I know that disease. [A complicated little smile, trying to convey everything between weariness to sympathy to resignation.] But I know I don't like people to stare at me either.
PHASE 3.... hope u can swim okita-san
Or she. Would keep on trucking if she hadn't been roped into this strange man's fishing request. Unreasonable men and unreasonable requests are, unfortunately, something she's become very used to.
Aaaaand speaking of unreasonable-- Is that a familiar voice she hears? ]
Okita-san--?! Let me help! [ Assistant instincts kicking in, she zips over to the fallen figure as fast as her legs will carry her, grasping his kimono and tugging as hard as she can. This is hard. She stumbles momentarily, and her grip slips-- please don't let Okita-san fall into the water. He'll kill her. Please let her tiny arms have the strength. ]
Are you sure about that? What if I swim back just to KILL you
Unfortunately any trace of this feeling is gone once she let go of him and crashing into the river!
It's now replaced with anger and murderous intent.
but Hijikata will never find out right?]JUST WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?! CAN'T YOU DO ANYTH-[Ugh. His complaints are cut short because the fish wants to continue this game of tug o'war
dw Kotori he still wants to kill you but not right now.]IM TELLING HIJI
I-I'm so sorry Okita-san I didn't mean to--! [ She's close to tears at this point, but there's no time for that! Hurrying to the riverbank, she stretches her hand out, desperately trying to reach him before he gets even more pissed. ] Please let go of the rod Okita-san, we can always catch another...!
[ "We" as if she'd been there the whole time. But unfortunately for her, she's blissfully unaware of Okita's Exploits. ]