PHASE I [ 9 00 ] You open your eyes, and there is a chicken pecking at your face. It's not a very happy chicken, either, but if you can manage to fend it off, then it will be clear that you are in a village. It is... medieval-esque, in that video game sort of way; the details don’t seem too clear, but if you look to your left, there’s a cow! And to your right, a well! Ignore the clear evidence of modern technology in the buildings such as lights, gas, and 21st century plumbing; CERES is dedicated to authenticity.
Looks like the new ViViD level has finally been released, and everyone is invited to play, whether they want to or not.
The game (because this time, that's surely what it is) will start simple. Everyone begins in the same place and every NPC villager will say the same thing: to get out of here, you have to go through the caves. They’ll shove a stick at you (“take this, it’s dangerous to go alone”) and off you go, into the caves… !
Which are full of tiny rats and more chickens. They will try to fight you, but it’s really not very effective when they’re perfectly small and average (especially when everyone still has their typical powers and abilities -- CERES didn't mess with those at all this time). The caves are winding and circular and maze-like, and to make matters even worse, the only ones around are the other poor saps stuck in this situation.
But if you kill enough of the rats, you’ll get to hear the satisfying level up jingle. Congratulations! You are now level 2. It's probably satisfying just for a minute or so until you finally find your way out of those maze like caves and -- You're back in the village again. Great.
PHASE II [ 930 ] You’re carrying a bag. No matter what you do, you can’t take it off, either; it’s stuck with you through thick and thin. But it is awfully heavy. Maybe you should actually open it and see what’s inside?
The problem is, it’s going to take a while.
The bag has clearly tapped into its true hammerspace nature; there are items for days in there, and they’re all very, very strange. You might end up covered in hats of all sorts, buried in logs as you pull out one after another, or look like you have an odd fetish for pickaxes.
Maybe there’s 1/3rd of an evil turnip, half a piece of pie and an egg.
Geez, what in the world are you supposed to do with all of that?
PHASE III [ 1200 ] Eventually, you make it out of the caves the right way despite the harassment of the rats and chickens and the fact you'll keep perpetually getting lost. Hooray! You come out into a large, peaceful, scenic meadow, with a small river bubbling off to one side, and a house.
You'll immediately notice that there’s a bridge to cross the river, but there’s someone standing in the way of that bridge. When you approach to go past him, no matter what you try to do, you won't be able to. Asking him why he won't move will only get one thing in response -- “Bring me a fish. Cooked.”
Then he’ll shove a fishing rod at you and expect you to get to it. You can’t attack him, you can’t get past him -- looks like the only thing to do is to catch and cook that fish. Time to sit back, relax, and get to work. Or maybe you’ll team up with someone else and be the person in the house making sure that the fish gets cooked properly. For some reason, if you leave it too long it turns right into a pile of ashes.
Weirdly though, no matter how good you are at cooking or fishing usually, it’s as if you’re right back at the metaphorical level one. Any sort of seasoning or effort to cook it faster falls flat and in the end you'll only be able to place the fish in the pan and set it on the stove, whole. This may take awhile.
And if you try to cross the river itself, well... no, really, don’t try to cross the river.
At least if you get eaten, you’ll just respawn back in the village, but do have fun traveling through the caves again!
PHASE IV [ 1430 ] You made it through the caves. You made it across the river (with a slightly burnt fish). You’ve made it to the wide open world, and you can finally adventure to your heart’s content. You take a step forward on the road and --
A message pops up, bright red and in your face.
[ Restricted Area: Members Only ]
No matter what you do, you can’t go past that point. In fact, if you’re not careful and you’re going too fast, you might run face-first into it like it’s an invisible wall (which it is).
Then, just like that, you're back in the village. Again. Only this time, there's a nice, blinking message -- Pay a small subscription fee to access member's content. Oh well. No big deal, you can just start again.
Except then you see a cool sword and when you try to pick it up, you'll get that same message, and end up transported back to the village yet again. And again, with some shiny new armor. And again, with that attention-grabbing NPC over there. Looks like you're caught in an infinite loop here but no matter how much you inspect the pop up, there's no... actual way to pay the subscription fee (and why would you want to?). But at least you have company, because you can't be the only person who thought that sword was cool.
(It was really, really cool.)
BONUS [ xxxx ] What’s that on the ground in front of you? It looks like… some bunny ears? Or maybe it’s a chicken head, or a pumpkin head. Either way, the moment you touch it, you have a strong need to put it on your head -- and once it’s on, it’s not coming off.
To make matters worse, each hat has an effect associated with it; the bunny ears will, in fact, randomly turn you into a cute fluffy bunny for anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour before you pop right back to yourself, whereas the pumpkin hat will, in a complete reversal, turn you into Cinderella for a bit -- complete with beautiful ball gown and the ability to talk to all of those cute fluffy bunnies.
Also the rats will love you, so maybe you should go back to the caves again.
Meanwhile, the chicken hat won't transform you into any odd creature, but it will inspire in the people wearing them a very real, persistent desire to build a nest. This will involve picking up twigs, trash, shiny things and whatever else catches your eye to try to build a nest out of it. You'll also try to pick up whatever food you find on the ground to eat, have the weirdest desire to lay an egg, and basically have all sorts of odd chicken-like instincts inflicted upon you.
At least you look festive!
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ] |
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
When all the prep work is done and the fish is sliced cleanly in half, with all its guts washed out and cleaned up, Edna reaches over and begins to season the fish...
...only for it to somehow transform right into a pile of ashes right in front of their very eyes.]
......
[. . .]
...What.
no subject
It's all well and good until the fish spontaneously turns to ash.
...]
And there's the trick.
[He hates this game.]
I'm...going to get more fish.
[It looks like she's going to need them.]
no subject
Someone's going to pay for reducing me to culinary mediocrity like this.
[Good ol' Meebo. Fetch those fish as she works on the second one... Those hammer whacks on the fish's head may or may not be a bit...louder than usual. Or necessary.]
no subject
The water seraph comes back with about six more fish. He takes a cautious glance at her work station as he sets the bucket down and decides to ask with even more caution:]
How'd the second attempt go?
no subject
Exhibit A, and Exhibit B.
[With that, she trudges over to Mikleo, reaches into the bucket for a fish, and repeats the same prep work process. This time, she deliberately slows down before the seasoning stage, just holding the seasoning there near the fish.]
no subject
[He watches with cautious curiosity.]
If spontaneously combusting fish isn't weird enough, I've noticed that the amount of fish in the river seems to replenish itself at an impossible rate.
[It's fortunate for anyone cooking in order to get across the river, but it still feels wrong to him.]
no subject
[
edna please don't put it like thatAnd as soon as the seasoning contacts the fish, it turns into yet another pile of ashes.]...Figures. We might as well just shove one on a pan and just let it cook.
no subject
Yeah. It's like they just materialize out of nothing to replace what was taken.
[...Okay, that happened.]
That might have been the intent, but phrased it in a way to set us up. Although, all things considered, I think I'll just pass on eating it myself.
[Who knows what fish that can turn into a pile of ash instantaneously can do to someone's digestive system.]
no subject
Sounds like a nice gig for the hungry. ...If the people living here even go hungry.
[She's not exactly sure what this ViViD place is, since technology like this is pretty much unparalleled back home, but it's awfully like Symonne's illusions, but more...buggy, and less focused on tormenting them with images of their friends (but with more torment in the form of useless, looping sidequests and very unhelpful NPCs that just repeat the same damn thing over and over again. Horror of horrors.) Edna grabs another fish and, true to her word, simply shoves it onto a pan, and places that on the stove to cook.
I don't actually know if Zestiria mentions having stoves in its setting or not, so let's assume this is an old-timey one...which still doesn't explain the modern technology in this very house.]Good idea. It'll be a 0-pointer this way. Maybe 5 points if it finally gets that guy to move.
no subject
If they don't, then whatever else lives in the river might. It could explain why he's been asking most people, if not every person, he meets for a cooked fish.
[That's a comparison he's wont to agree with.
I think they have old-timey stoves if baking is involved in the world...I think.]Well, if luck's with us, this whole culinary nightmare won't be carried over when we get out.
[This will not be a happy water seraph if he can't make cold food and dessert anymore.]
no subject
[As seraphs, their stomachs wouldn't hurt if it did happen, but their pride will. Edna keeps a careful watch on the fish cooking on the stove as she responds. This one shouldn't turn into ashes...]
Besides, cold dessert makers as portable as you are are hard to come by nowadays.
[It'd be a shame if they lost Mikleo...'s dessert making capabilities. His desserts honestly aren't bad...even she wanted some.
Of course, she's not really aware that Cerealia's technology has probably enabled the populace to have a super-portable-ice-cream-maker by now. This technology stuff sure is weird.]
no subject
Job security. How nice. I don't know what I'd do if I wasn't so portable of a cold dessert maker.
[So. Deadpan.]