PHASE I [ 9 00 ] You open your eyes, and there is a chicken pecking at your face. It's not a very happy chicken, either, but if you can manage to fend it off, then it will be clear that you are in a village. It is... medieval-esque, in that video game sort of way; the details don’t seem too clear, but if you look to your left, there’s a cow! And to your right, a well! Ignore the clear evidence of modern technology in the buildings such as lights, gas, and 21st century plumbing; CERES is dedicated to authenticity.
Looks like the new ViViD level has finally been released, and everyone is invited to play, whether they want to or not.
The game (because this time, that's surely what it is) will start simple. Everyone begins in the same place and every NPC villager will say the same thing: to get out of here, you have to go through the caves. They’ll shove a stick at you (“take this, it’s dangerous to go alone”) and off you go, into the caves… !
Which are full of tiny rats and more chickens. They will try to fight you, but it’s really not very effective when they’re perfectly small and average (especially when everyone still has their typical powers and abilities -- CERES didn't mess with those at all this time). The caves are winding and circular and maze-like, and to make matters even worse, the only ones around are the other poor saps stuck in this situation.
But if you kill enough of the rats, you’ll get to hear the satisfying level up jingle. Congratulations! You are now level 2. It's probably satisfying just for a minute or so until you finally find your way out of those maze like caves and -- You're back in the village again. Great.
PHASE II [ 930 ] You’re carrying a bag. No matter what you do, you can’t take it off, either; it’s stuck with you through thick and thin. But it is awfully heavy. Maybe you should actually open it and see what’s inside?
The problem is, it’s going to take a while.
The bag has clearly tapped into its true hammerspace nature; there are items for days in there, and they’re all very, very strange. You might end up covered in hats of all sorts, buried in logs as you pull out one after another, or look like you have an odd fetish for pickaxes.
Maybe there’s 1/3rd of an evil turnip, half a piece of pie and an egg.
Geez, what in the world are you supposed to do with all of that?
PHASE III [ 1200 ] Eventually, you make it out of the caves the right way despite the harassment of the rats and chickens and the fact you'll keep perpetually getting lost. Hooray! You come out into a large, peaceful, scenic meadow, with a small river bubbling off to one side, and a house.
You'll immediately notice that there’s a bridge to cross the river, but there’s someone standing in the way of that bridge. When you approach to go past him, no matter what you try to do, you won't be able to. Asking him why he won't move will only get one thing in response -- “Bring me a fish. Cooked.”
Then he’ll shove a fishing rod at you and expect you to get to it. You can’t attack him, you can’t get past him -- looks like the only thing to do is to catch and cook that fish. Time to sit back, relax, and get to work. Or maybe you’ll team up with someone else and be the person in the house making sure that the fish gets cooked properly. For some reason, if you leave it too long it turns right into a pile of ashes.
Weirdly though, no matter how good you are at cooking or fishing usually, it’s as if you’re right back at the metaphorical level one. Any sort of seasoning or effort to cook it faster falls flat and in the end you'll only be able to place the fish in the pan and set it on the stove, whole. This may take awhile.
And if you try to cross the river itself, well... no, really, don’t try to cross the river.
At least if you get eaten, you’ll just respawn back in the village, but do have fun traveling through the caves again!
PHASE IV [ 1430 ] You made it through the caves. You made it across the river (with a slightly burnt fish). You’ve made it to the wide open world, and you can finally adventure to your heart’s content. You take a step forward on the road and --
A message pops up, bright red and in your face.
[ Restricted Area: Members Only ]
No matter what you do, you can’t go past that point. In fact, if you’re not careful and you’re going too fast, you might run face-first into it like it’s an invisible wall (which it is).
Then, just like that, you're back in the village. Again. Only this time, there's a nice, blinking message -- Pay a small subscription fee to access member's content. Oh well. No big deal, you can just start again.
Except then you see a cool sword and when you try to pick it up, you'll get that same message, and end up transported back to the village yet again. And again, with some shiny new armor. And again, with that attention-grabbing NPC over there. Looks like you're caught in an infinite loop here but no matter how much you inspect the pop up, there's no... actual way to pay the subscription fee (and why would you want to?). But at least you have company, because you can't be the only person who thought that sword was cool.
(It was really, really cool.)
BONUS [ xxxx ] What’s that on the ground in front of you? It looks like… some bunny ears? Or maybe it’s a chicken head, or a pumpkin head. Either way, the moment you touch it, you have a strong need to put it on your head -- and once it’s on, it’s not coming off.
To make matters worse, each hat has an effect associated with it; the bunny ears will, in fact, randomly turn you into a cute fluffy bunny for anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour before you pop right back to yourself, whereas the pumpkin hat will, in a complete reversal, turn you into Cinderella for a bit -- complete with beautiful ball gown and the ability to talk to all of those cute fluffy bunnies.
Also the rats will love you, so maybe you should go back to the caves again.
Meanwhile, the chicken hat won't transform you into any odd creature, but it will inspire in the people wearing them a very real, persistent desire to build a nest. This will involve picking up twigs, trash, shiny things and whatever else catches your eye to try to build a nest out of it. You'll also try to pick up whatever food you find on the ground to eat, have the weirdest desire to lay an egg, and basically have all sorts of odd chicken-like instincts inflicted upon you.
At least you look festive!
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ] |
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But it sounds like there's something you wanna ask me, so go ahead.
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Let's put that aside for now.
Without another word, Hitagi closes her eyes and takes in a deep breath. ]
I want to know how much of that presentation was true.
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You wanna know about that? I can't tell you how much of it's true, but... our homeworlds are definitely gone. I can also tell you that I've explored this planet before the city was built, and well after that, too.
You'd like to know if the Flamines are real, right?
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Yes. I'd like to know everything you know. But... let's start with that.
1/2
[ He grips her shoulder with one hand, hesitant about whatever he has to reveal to her. ]
The truth about the Flamines is...
[ There's another pause as he stares her directly in the eyes. There's no way of going around this, is there? Might as well say it. ]
2/2
I don't know.
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[ From her bag, she pulls out a stapler and shoves it in his mouth. Like what she did to Koyomi once, she can staple the inside of Jaune's cheek if he's not careful. ]
Is that the truth?
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[ Translation: yes. ]
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On the other hand, Jaune is an idiot. ]
Is that so?
[ With her stapler, she stretches his mouth to the side to remind him of the wire that threatens to pierce the lining of his cheek. ]
If I ask you more questions about my situation, will you waste my time again?
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B-But, if I may...!
Just because I dunno if the Flamines are real, doesn't mean I haven't seen what's out there, and trust me -- a stapler isn't gonna do you any good against those monsters!
I mean, you asked for the truth, right? If you wanted my opinion, I'd tell you that "Flamines" are probably not real... or that we don't have the full story yet.
...
[ Now he guides the stapler back to his mouth. He's very, very sorry he had to do that!! ]
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[ Jaune, really...
After some deliberation, she puts the stapler away in her bag. She wasn't going to use staplers against whatever these Flamines are, but she definitely wants to know what she can use in their place. That is, if the Flamines are the enemy to begin with. ]
I see. So there's either a lack of information or information is being withheld. Who is it, then?
Who has control over this information?
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Hey, what happened to tooth for tooth and all that? At least tell me your name, it's kinda weird that I know more about your underwear and what's in your bag than what to call you!
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... Senjougahara Hitagi. Hitagi is my first name.
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[ REALLY awesome, because by the time she got to the Hitagi part, he had already forgotten how to pronounce Senjbjslsharara. ]
Hitagi. Hey, kinda suits you! Like "hit"!
Hahah, I'm just kidding!
But seriously it does.
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Anyway, Jaune, if you want to know what's beyond this river, you'll need to cook a fish.
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...
OH! Oh, that! [ Way to get sidetracked from the original quest. ]
Is that what you meant about the bridge being useless? Why didn't you just say it from the start?!
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There's nothing beyond that bridge.
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[ HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO HIM, JAUNE ARC ]
Oh, Hitagi, who knew you'd be so shy about it! It's okay, I'm not gonna cross this bridge if you don't want me to. In fact, I'm not going anywhere! How could I abandon you after that kinda confession?! Darn it, curse them all for destroying our homeworlds, otherwise I'd be calling my mom right now!
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Jaune.
I'll only say this once, so you better listen carefully.
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It can't be...!!
Are you saying what I think you're gonna say?
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[ He leans forward, invading her personal space??? ]
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Jaune, I...
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Yes...?
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...have a boyfriend.
1/2
2/2
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