//SCENARIOS.EXE
THEATER I [ 00 00 ]
MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A
Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see.
If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER II [ 0000 ]
LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B
A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese.
But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER III [ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C
Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias.
This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER IV [ 0000 ]
DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D
Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia.
Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !)
BONUS - THEATER V [ whyo'clock ]
YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z
This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any.
While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]
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Lobby
[He says, standing with Cliff at what might be where one would refund money]
This is total bullshit! [Looks at Cliff and nods. YEAH FUCK THESE PEOPLE NEED OUR MONEY BACK.]
Lobby
[He grinned, almost like a predator, and held up a hard fist for emphasis.]
Total. Bullshit. Refund, or film credit. Now.
[You don't go and publically humiliate a Klausian without repercussion.]
no subject
IF YOU ARE NOT PURCHASING A TICKET PLEASE MOVE ASIDE SO OTHER PATRONS CAN ENJOY THEIR MOVIE EXPERIENCE.Hell no! You owe us!
no subject
Yeah! What the kid said-- there's no way in hell that anyone's having fun back there!
[Unless they happened to be masochists, but that was an entirely different ballpark that Cliff didn't even want to touch upon.]
no subject
NONSENSE THESE MOVIES WERE TESTED FOR QUALITY. MOVE ASIDE PLEASE.We're not leaving until we get refunded! And you should shut this crap down before you get the whole theater on your ass for a refund!
no subject
[....Cliff had already had quite enough of this. Taking a deep breath, he dropped his hand heavily on the counter that separated them and leaned forward-- almost kindly.
Almost.]
Now listen. We'll get going outta this place if you just be a good member of management and give us even just a store credit. Unhappy customers can't be good for business, can they?
no subject
NEXT PLEASE.[The robot doesn't seem to be acknowledging Cliff or Yosuke anymore...]
no subject
[Cliff slammed his other fist against the counter, rattling it from the sheer force of the blow. And, that was nothing for him.]
Don't you just ignore us like that!
no subject
NEXT.Dude, don't break it... [He says in a hushed tone.] You're gunna get us thrown out-!
no subject
Then let them!
[He was prepared to climb over the counter to clock the robot in whatever passed for it's face...but, he saw the kid's point. Taking a deep breath, he scraped together the willpower to pull himself from the line.
--And he slammed his fist into an adjacent wall, splintering the wood beneath the force of his strength.]
Gah-- dammit!
[This place.
It was too much.]
no subject
Hey, uh...you gunna be okay, bro?
no subject
[Sarcasm dripped from his tone as he removed his fist and cracked his knuckles, passing a sharp look over the poor bot in Customer Service before facing the young man fully.]
Tonight's just been one thing on top of another. If I believed in a god, I'd ask them to smite the guy in charge of the visual effects of those films.
no subject
[He'd like to forget it ever happened it's burned into his retinas]
no subject
Personal for you too?
[Cliff cast the young man a perturbed look.]
You didn't happen to see a slim blonde chick dropping--
[He cut himself off. There was no way he was going to admit to a stranger that the willowy and beautiful Mirage Koas has bested him in over a thousand spars.]
no subject
[Bearshounen Teddie]
no subject
[He cast the kid an incredulous look.]
Wait a sec. You're absolutely sure she's not the hottest, most beautiful woman you've ever seen?
[--Damn straight is he gonna brag about her. He loves her like a sister, but anyone would admit that Mirage is gorgeous.]
no subject
[In a dress, knowing what's underneath....it was too much.]
no subject
Hey-- you best be a litte respectful of her. I've known her since we were kids, so trust me when I say that she can bench your skinny ass and hurl you into next tuesday if she wanted.
no subject
Huh? Are we thinking of the same person? There's no way you could know him. Teddie's hardly a chick, he just manages to pull off looking like one way too well.
[Acts like one way too well too...]
no subject
Teddie!?
[Cliff cast him an incredulous look.]
I'm talkin' bout Mirage. She's about ye high, [he held a hand up to chin level on him-- being 6'5" himself, that was an impressive height for a woman.] With a long braid and legs that lots of men would give anything to be kicked by.
[Why yes, Yosuke. The standards of his culture are strange.]
no subject
Mirage, huh? I do enjoy girls with long, beautiful legs! Wait.
She's not your girlfriend, is she?
[He mighta said something he shouldn't of if she is crap crap crap]
no subject
[Cliff just grinned slyly at the kid and folded his arms across his chest.]
She's my partner in crime, but we're not dating.
--That said, I'm not sure you wanna be dating a woman whose almost twice your age. It's illegal in most systems, and we've got enough trouble on our heads without the authorities getting on us for romancing minors.
no subject
You know! [COVER UP OH GOD] I mean, nice to see her kick someone's ass, I do like learning a lot about martial arts-! [Haha oh god that was horrible.]
no subject
Chill out, [he said.] For one, she's not here. And, for another, you'd have to be blind to not notice how hot she is. There's no shame in looking-- or imagining, in this case. Just be respectful, too. Girls don't like jerks.