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C E R E A L I A ★ M O D S。 ([personal profile] reparator) wrote in [community profile] ioculus2014-12-01 09:45 pm
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//TESTDRIVE5.0.EXE

//TESTDRIVE5.0.EXE

Let it Go, Let it Fucking Go Already


Let's keep pretending it's not technically October in the game while Yuletide thoughts continue to spread through CERES. Inspired by recent tragic events, your friendly neighborhood programmer, Elias ([personal profile] serritor) has constructed a wonderful new ice world to be accessed through ViViD, the popular virtual simulator.

As expected, this is a world covered in ice all over with a chill that bores into one's bones as players wander through. In the midst of it all lies a beautiful reconstruction of a mall, complete with various stores to suit your online shopping needs. However, before you can indulge in any spending, you're tasked with a mission should you choose to accept. You will have to enter the frost-covered mall which hosts a large, elaborate labyrinth and complete all the objectives as they're given to you and your party.

It seems that some horrible foe has arisen from the great beyond to kidnap Santa Bot (no relation to the futurama one). Unable to deliver toys and goods to the poor, needy adults of Cerealia, it's up to YOU to save him from a variety of enemies which include:

a.) Nasty, foul-mouthed elves
b.) A rabid flock of reindeer
c.) An ice queen who will not stop singing
d.) And a fucking minotaur. Why? Why not?

"Ho ho ho! And seasons greetings, players! I am Julius Vincere, the CEO of CERES, and I must apologize for a few recent temperature modifications as of late. But we were able to fix that small glitch quickly. We were only hoping to cool things down by a few degrees after we received a few complaints about overheating equipment. It seems our robots went a bit overboard with our dome, which is a safety precaution we put in place in the event of an outside threat or invasion. There's no need to fear, and we hope you enjoyed warming up with one another in the meantime.

Now, that that's behind us, let's have a little fun, shall we? I think some of you are familiar with the concept back in your home worlds. I observed enough to know that it's a pretty ostentatious holiday. That's why I asked my dear programmer, Elias, to build a simulation so we can experience a little bit of Christmas together. You can say it's a dress rehearsal for the real thing.

Anyway, if you all would be so kind as to sample this world and tell me how it goes. I want to see what you all think and get you all in the festive mood. Consider this my deep apology for one mistake too many. We won't allow it to happen again."

//SCENARIOS.EXE
PHASE I
[ 00:00 ] Let the games begin! You're dropped before a giant forest with snow-covered trees, and in your path to reach the mall, there appears your first threat. They look cute and sweet -innocent little elves that smile and blush in your direction. They barely reach up to your chest and look up at you with big, glassy eyes as they promise to help you along your way. Little hands will grab yours, tugging you along. That is, until you're far enough along that you're deep in the midst of the forest where they decide to chip at a lake of frozen ice and chuck you inside.

They will then criticize your clothes, call you a piece of reindeer shit, tell you your ass is too fat then call your mother a whore. Because that's just how they roll. Here's your chance to fight back, get vengeance, and force the elves to tell you where Santa is. Those who manage to beat them into submission will be pointed in the right direction to the mall. Those who don't, have fun drowning in icy water!
PHASE II
[ 00:00 ] Once you've escaped the elves, another trial appears. This time, it's in the form of twelve savage reindeer with blood dribbling from their lips. Their eyes are all an eerie shade of red, and they're staring at you deeply as though they can see into your soul. If you hope to get into that mall, you'll have to fight them down and avoid being caught in their antlers. There will be lots of bucking. Copious buckings. Kill the reindeer and remove their antlers for a special gift! (it's a coupon for a free McCERES burger.)
PHASE III
[ 00:00 ] Once you reach the entrance of the mall, you'll be confronted with the icy labyrinth, guarded by a minotaur. He is large and in charge and will probably try to mow you down once he sees you. None of your weapons or magic will work, though. To pacify this beast, you will have to hug him. He requires a hug with feeling. He will tell you as much when you confront him. Give him a good squeeze then let him be. Love can cure many things!
PHASE IV
[ 00:00 ] Are you done running around this maze of a mall? Tired of seeing the same Vidia's Secret store a dozen times? Alas, there is one last trial. It comes in the form of obnoxious carols being crooned in your direction by a beautiful ice queen. She's beckoning you to her with a siren song in the form of merry Christmas music, luring you in little by little and making you walk towards her while she tries to enchant you. She'll lean in close and whisper the rest of the song in your ear, and once you're in her trance, you'll turn on your own friends and party members to try and kill them. To avoid being drawn into her trance, you'll have to be knocked around a few times to regain your bearings. Then, it's either destroy her or be subjected to her ice magic. However, before she dies, she'll look deep into your eyes and beg you to save her and not to forget her.

She needs you.

Once you defeat her, Santa Bot will appear to dance a merry jig in your honor and shower you with credits. Hooray!
BONUS
[ why:o'clock ] You can't escape Christmas without a random sprig of mistletoe floating around your head and following you around. For those who try to escape, the mistletoe bot will only move all the quicker. Those caught under its insistent floating will be compelled to kiss a neighbor or two or ten. Or even kiss the minotaur. What we're saying is you should probably run.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE
Welcome to CEREALIA's fifth Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!


purseowna: (Default)

Marie | Personal Waifu/Husbano Simulator 4 Golden (Persona 4 Golden)

[personal profile] purseowna 2014-12-04 03:01 am (UTC)(link)
Phase I:

[WHAT DOES LITERALLY ANY OF THIS HAVE TO DO WITH CHRISTMAS. Not that Marie has any idea what Christmas is. Or who Santa is. She was a little preoccupied around that time, and even then Christmas in Japan is quite different than it is in other countries. Though she has a distinct feeling it has nothing to do with cursing elves. Who would even celebrate a holiday like that.

Maybe masochists.

Whatever the case maybe, it seems like they've found something to do that's even worse than dunking her in some half-frozen river; reading one of her poems outloud before crumbling it up and tossing it to the next elf. Naturally Marie's frantically running back and forth trying to grab the stupid paper, but her attempts end in vain. Feel free to laugh at the poor sap or wonder why she doesn't just electrocute the little bastards.]


Phase II:

[So after somehow managing to get her poem back (and zap an elf or twenty), Marie is on her not-so-merry way to the mall through the forest. She doesn't even know why she's doing any of this, but it beats sitting around in the Velvet Room doing nothing with The Nose and Margaret. She could do without all this reindeer killing, though. They're cute.

...covered in the blood and flesh of their enemies, but still cute. Maybe the mall has a reindeer plush? One can only hope.

If you're in the forest, you might happen to encounter a young girl about high school age fighting demonic Rudolf. Of course she's not doing much of the fighting, rather her Stand Persona is. What's weird, though, is that it looks like a robotic bunny girl astronaut. I'm serious. But it seems to be getting the job done, so if you need a hand she's got your back. Probably.]
unluckybreak: (ALL OF MY DISGUST.)

Phase I

[personal profile] unluckybreak 2014-12-05 08:16 pm (UTC)(link)
[Thanks to his constant misfortune, Touma was usually a little wary of bizarre things. And those elves were sending off warning flags from how disgustingly cute they were from the start. And well, he couldn't just sit back and watch if someone was getting bullied. Not to mention, he had to stop those elves from reading those cringe worthy poems out loud...

Have a spiky-haired boy running towards you, Marie. He's kind of flailing his arms around.]


Oi! Knock it off! Her poems may be trashy, but there's no need to humiliate her like this!

[AT LEAST HE'S HONEST???]
purseowna: (Default)

[personal profile] purseowna 2014-12-06 03:10 am (UTC)(link)
[Arm-flailing is something she very much understands, spiky-haired guy. Same thing with blunt honesty, although it's a bit different when she's on the receiving end.]

They aren't poems! They're just--stuff randomly pops into my head and I get a really bad urge to write them down, okay! They're not supposed to be read!

What, you mean we aren't supposed to do this? The False Princ--

SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP! You! Guy with the weird hair! Don't you dare listen!
unluckybreak: (BULLET DODGED.)

[personal profile] unluckybreak 2014-12-06 03:39 am (UTC)(link)
Weird hair?! I'll have you know that it's the coolest hairstyle ever! Kamijou-san takes a lot of pride in his hairdo, thank you!

[He totally saw it in a magazine cover and thought it looked cool. Hence why he gel'd himself up like a shounen protag. He's kind of a nerd...]

Ummm... With all due respect, princess. I don't think I can unhear what's already been heard. If it helps, I won't tell anyone about your third-rate poetry here?

[He could keep secrets at least. Though he couldn't speak on behalf of the elves, though.]
purseowna: (Default)

[personal profile] purseowna 2014-12-06 04:23 pm (UTC)(link)
W-well Marie-chan thinks it looks lame, so you're welcome.

[YEAH she is totally owning at this insult thing. Except not.

Nevermind the fact that she probably shouldn't insult the guy who might feel inclined to help her, but common sense isn't something she has in spades. Blame it on the fact that she's lived in a literal limo for a good portion of her life. Or that she's never been the sharpest knife in the drawer. Whichever.]


And I'm not a princess! Ugg, just forget whatever you hear here, okay? [She reaches into her bag and pulls out a small pendulum.] I'll even hypnotize you!

[Meanwhile the elves are having a ball reading her not poetry. Something about a prince who seems perfect but really isn't and how that totally annoys the writer (her). Those rhymes in particular are kinda lame. They don't get too far, though, before Marie turns around again and snaps them.]

SHUT UP! StupidtinypoemreadingjerkfacesIHATEYOU! Stop reading my things!
Edited 2014-12-06 16:23 (UTC)
unluckybreak: (Some guys just can't handle Vegas.)

[personal profile] unluckybreak 2014-12-06 06:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Oi... What kind of third grade insult was that?!

[Ahhh... Hypnotism. That was something that he was still trying to work on in his Esper Supplementary classes. Too bad that he'll never become anything beyond a Level 0.]

Sorry to burst your bubble, but I don't think a trick like that will work on me. I'll pat you on the head for the attempt, though.

[He's clearly looking down on her like she's a little kid. Once they're finished reading another cringe worthy poem, Touma just sighs and will attempt to pull the paper out from their hands. Honestly, how did he get himself into these situations again!?]

Okay, squirts. It's time to close up shop. Marie-chan's Poetry Hour is over, so please make an orderly line and leave!
Edited 2014-12-06 18:37 (UTC)
purseowna: (Default)

[personal profile] purseowna 2014-12-08 01:00 pm (UTC)(link)
[That looking down on her thing is going to get really old really fast. Or it would if she cared to listen. She's too busy freaky out that yet another poem was just finished and her attempts to get it away from them kept failing. Some help is appreciated, but the jerkass elves don't seem to think so.]

Oi, who do you think you are, ordering us around like that? Think you're hot shit, huh? Prissy little momma's boy like you. We oughta teach you a lesson!

[Well at least they stopped. Marie's just kinda staring at them with her eye raised. It's kinda funny in a weird way, since she can't take these guys seriously at all. They're like, three feet tall and curse up a storm. It's ridiculous.]
unluckybreak: (That's very Cameron Frye of you.)

[personal profile] unluckybreak 2014-12-13 03:34 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, yeah. Don't you guys have presents or something to be working on? You're gonna make Santa-san sad if you keep this up.

[They were certainly annoying, but Touma was going to be the bigger man (HA) and try to ignore them proper from here on out. With that poem in hand, he'll just be turning his attention back to Marie and handing it over.]

Anyway... I'm gonna suggest that you stick to keeping your poems in a diary. Otherwise, you'll end up getting into situations like this one again.
purseowna: (Default)

[personal profile] purseowna 2014-12-15 04:18 am (UTC)(link)
[She snatches it away quickly and proceeds to rip it up. There. Now no one can read it.]

I already told you, they aren't poems. Besides, I just threw it away. Didn't think anyone would pick it up and read it.

[Hindsight's 20/20 and all that. Though now may not be the best time to have a conversation with a group of elves. They don't look too friendly. Not that they were very friendly before, but you get the picture.]

You think you can just brush us off? Like hell! Let's see how you like taking a dip in freezing cold water! LETS GET 'EM!

[And now they're charging. A group of small but fairly intimidating elves. It's like a small army of green-wearing bikers.]
Edited 2014-12-15 04:18 (UTC)
unluckybreak: (Did I get the bad ending!?)

[personal profile] unluckybreak 2014-12-16 01:18 am (UTC)(link)
--Huh? L-Let's calm down a sec! What happened to having some holiday cheer--?!

[Uh oh. He thought that they'd just storm off in a midget rage, but this wasn't how he expected things to go! Now in Touma's mind? He could hold up in a fight if it were one on one. If it were one on two, then he'd have some trouble. And finally, if it were one on three or more... Then it was time to bounce. So without any warning, he'll just be grabbing Marie's hand as he starts to tug her away.]

We appreciate your hospitality, but we'rekindainahurryandratherstaywarmOKAYBYENOW!

[Time for his signature ultimate technique: RUNNING AWAY.]
Edited 2014-12-16 01:18 (UTC)
souperb: (pic#8531068)

phase i.

[personal profile] souperb 2014-12-05 11:17 pm (UTC)(link)
[ milla could help. she could help... or she could continue to stand off here, to the side, observing marie and her merry band of elves. or sadistic band of elves, as the case may be. she'd just finished her little encounter with those things on her own, and as marie wasn't exactly in any mortal danger she doesn't feel like swooping in and saving the day without prompting.

plus, she's sure the girl could handle a couple of elves reading out whatever it is they were reading out. ]


It's just a couple of silly poems. What's the big deal? [ too blunt for her own good. the idea that those might be marie's poems does cross her mind, but...

... it isn't like they were being read out to the entire world. ]
purseowna: (Default)

[personal profile] purseowna 2014-12-06 03:15 am (UTC)(link)
[Oh great, more company. Even if Milla means no harm, a spectator to this train wreck is the absolute last thing Marie wants right about now. Her stupid poems aren't meant to be seen by anyone but her, let alone read outloud to every person within ear shot. N-not that they're poems or anything!]

The big deal is that they're not meant to be seen by anyone but me! And they aren't poems!

[Whether or not Milla believes her is her own decision, but it seems like the elves are content standing on top of each other in a pyramid foundation. And what's this? The one on the top is pulling out something.

...

Is that a megaphone? ...yeah it's a megaphone.]
souperb: (pic#8531078)

[personal profile] souperb 2014-12-06 04:01 am (UTC)(link)
[ she was going to say something about how if those obvious poems are not poems then what the heck are they, but the pulling out of a (to her) unknown possible weapon (!!) finally gets a response from milla. that, and they're getting into a battle formation.

a pyramid is a battle formation.

yeah, she takes out her sword. life is hard when you live in a world where sharing people's embarrassing poems were done via the good old fashioned way. screaming. not megaphones. ]


What is that?!

[ marie what evil have you unleashed!!! ]
purseowna: (Default)

[personal profile] purseowna 2014-12-06 04:29 pm (UTC)(link)
[A pyramid would be the worst battle formation. But maybe they're going to transform and roll out. Who knows.]

Uh... I think it's a megahfoen. You talk into it and it says whatever you said even loud-

[WAIT NO THIS IS BAD.]

Stopstopstopstopstop! Don't read it!
souperb: (pic#8531082)

[personal profile] souperb 2014-12-06 05:30 pm (UTC)(link)
You've been saying that for a while. I doubt they'll--

[ transformelves.

but ok, the sword can go down then. talk into it, stuff gets louder (apparently). so they're following their embarrassing method of attack and avoiding anything physically painful.

... well, until they actually start using that megahfoen (like they're going to listen to marie, yolo) and milla's eardrums are left to suffer from both one: bad poetry, and two: REALLY LOUD ELVES. one of her hands defensively move up to cover an ear. they didn't even let her finish her sentence. ]


Ugh, it's horrible! Why would they even make something like that?! [ maybe she means the megahfoen. maybe she means the poetry. all she knows is she's suffering. ]
purseowna: (Default)

[personal profile] purseowna 2014-12-08 01:08 pm (UTC)(link)
[Nobody listens to Marie. Her life is so hard.]

I'm pretty sure they didn't invent the megahfone. And I know for a fact that they didn't write those...not poems.

[#notpoems

Honestly though this is starting to get really annoying. These little bastards have been screwing around with her this entire time and every attempt to get her #notpoems has ended in utter failure. However, now she might have a chance. They were all stacked on top of each other, which meant passing it around like before wouldn't work. She'd have to get this just right, though...]